


Choose Wisely

by Mimi321



Category: EXO (Band), K-pop
Genre: Drama & Romance, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-09-13 04:53:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 41,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16885977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mimi321/pseuds/Mimi321
Summary: Baekhyun is madly in love with Chanyeol.Chanyeol is still struggling with his feelings, but he's getting there.Everything seemed compromising for both of them...until the appearance of a ghost from Chanyeol's past. Now Chanyeol must choose between the boy who brought him back to life and the guy who was his everything for almost his entire life.And he shall choose wisely.





	1. Chapter | 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, this is my first time posting something here. This is actually a little experiment, I want to test te waters and see if I can use the site properly :P It's so different to asianfanfics that I'm kinda confused. This story was originally posted in that site first, so yeah... anyways, I hope you enjoy and hopefully I can figure this website out asap.
> 
> OH, and this was my first chanbaek fanfic, so it's not the best. Seriously, I know this shit is cringy, so I'm sorry XD

**CHAPTER |1**

“Baekhyun! Have you seen my lucky tie?” Chanyeol yelled from the room, searching for the tie everywhere without avail.

He was trying to keep his shit together knowing that nothing good ever comes at being dominated by anxiety, but in spite of knowing that he had to calm down a little, he was already getting desperate because he needed it to use it as a good luck charm in his first job interview. He wanted to leave a good impression whatever the final result may be and for that he just needed some luck, and here it is where the tie played a very important role since his confidence was almost zero, therefore this was his only source of assurance. Well, aside from Baekhyun of course, but Chanyeol couldn’t take him with him to the interview, because if that were the case he would do it without a second thought.

The blond-haired boy walked into the room with a small smile on his face as he shook his head teasingly, illuminating everything in his path as usual. With amused eyes saw how his boyfriend walked back and forth looking for his favorite tie, leaving a mess behind him, which wasn’t a surprise at all, because Chanyeol had always been messy and disorganized, therefore he lost his things frequently. Fortunately for him Baekhyun was always close to find what was lost.

“Did you look for it in the second dresser drawer?” The smaller boy asked, crossing his arms across his chest with an air of superiority, since he knew perfectly well that there it was the garment and that definitely Chanyeol hadn’t looked carefully enough.

The black-haired guy growled in affirmation as he moved around the room hopelessly. His black pants were undone, his white shirt was unbuttoned so his chest could be seen in all its glory and tufts of hair were dancing in different directions. In other words he was a mess and the worst part was that he was running late, which only added stress to his already anxious mind.

The smaller sighed deeply, and with an elegant walk he approached the dresser without being noticed by his boyfriend who was too busy stressing out. And as he predicted, the tie was in the second drawer hidden under a lot of sweatshirts, pants and underwear. Baekhyun held the navy blue garment in his hands and watched it thoroughly, trying to not glare at it with suspicion, since it would be stupid to have resentment towards a piece of cloth, but it was inevitable when he knew perfectly well the story behind it. He had to remind himself that he got involved in Chanyeol’s life even knowing about the melodrama still existing in his giant's heart.

Baekhyun shook his head slightly trying to get rid of unnecessary thoughts and managed to outline a small but sincere smile on his face. He turned around just in time to see how the other guy massaged his temples in an attempt of trying to calm himself a little bit and that only made him smile widely, amused by how dramatic his tall boyfriend could be sometimes.

“Hey, don’t panic.” Baekhyun said tenderly as he climbed onto the bed. Chanyeol was too tall for his small stature, so he had to do something to equalize their heights and usually this was the only way. This included chairs and other points where the smaller could climb onto. “Come here, you big baby.” Said gesturing with his hand for his boyfriend to come closer.

The black-haired man obeyed meekly. When he was close enough he immediately put his hands on his boyfriend's hips, which were within his reach unlike his waist, and looked up at him with a pout since nothing was going according to the plan. Baekhyun just smiled at him gently while he leaned towards him to wrap his arms around his neck, still with the tie in his right hand hidden from the eyes of his boyfriend. Then the blond-haired boy brought his face close to his to glue his forehead against the giant’s as he stared at him sweetly.

“I know you're nervous about this interview, Chanyeol. I was too, but you need to calm down, it's not a big deal really. Just have confidence in yourself and trust in your skills and knowledge. I'm sure they will be impressed by your achievements, which are many I must say, after all you were ranked as the number one in your generation. But if for some reason they don’t accept you, then it is their loss, because you are amazing and you have a great future ahead. Besides I made my special breakfast which will give you energy for the whole day, and after the interview I can take you somewhere so you can take a break for all this. We can go for a walk to the park as we eat that ice cream that you like so much, or if you want we can go to the amusement park, you have wanted to go there for a while now, right? Or we can go to the mall to try ridiculous clothes and take photos to upload them to our Instagram account … or I don't know, whatever. But promise me you will be calm and confident, all right?” He said with a lovely and radiant smile.

Chanyeol watched him closely, not believing that this beautiful and delicate creature were his, feeling really lucky to have such a compassionate person and of such a pure nature at his side supporting him, loving him and helping him escape from the painful past. Baekhyun was too sweet and understanding, he always knew what to say to made him feel loved and safe.

The giant put a hand on his cheek and stroked it softly, drawing patterns on it absently as he lost himself in those bright brown eyes. Then he lowered his gaze to deposit it in his pink and addictive lips, watching them intently while still caressing his cheek gently.

“If you want to kiss me just do it.” The smaller whispered with a lopsided grin, amused by the manner in which his boyfriend devoured his lips with his stare.

Obediently, the taller man impacted his lips against his desperately, hungry to taste the familiar wet cavity. He moved his lips aggressively against his, feeling the need to lick and nibble everything in his path, and it turned out that Baekhyun’s lower lip was the victim of Chanyeol’s insatiable thirst. And in an attempt to pull him even closer to his body Chanyeol made his boyfriend intertwine his short legs around his waist while he kept his hands underneath his butt to keep him firmly in place without worrying about unexpected falls.

The blond-haired boy clung onto the other guy fiercely as if his life depended on it, making him look like an adorable koala with no intention of letting go of what was his. He would like to stay like this forever, clinging to the only man he had ever loved in his short life without letting him go. He really wanted to keep him in his embrace and hide him from the world, but especially hide him forever from _him_. But he couldn’t do that to the love of his life, it would be cruel and selfish, and certainly Baekhyun had only one goal for the time being, and it was to provide him happiness, everything to make this insecure and vulnerable guy smile. That was the truth, all he wanted was his happiness and Baekhyun would do anything to give it to him, even if it meant disappear from his life forever. He wasn’t going to lie, with the mere thought of leaving his boyfriend alone made him shiver in agonizing pain, but he had to be strong because at the end it was his own decision, he himself chose to be with Chanyeol even knowing the consequences that this would entail in the future. But again, anyone could blame him? After all, Baekhyun was in love, deeply in love for the first time in his life.

The two pulled away from each other in search of oxygen, taking puffs of air agitatedly. Yet the black-haired man wasn’t satisfied, he wanted to continue kissing his boyfriend without stopping even for a second, so unable to contain himself any longer he gave him a kiss on the nose, on the forehead, on both cheeks, on his eyelids, on his chin, on the bridge of his nose, everywhere. Chanyeol wanted to show him how much it meant to him his mere existence. And when the giant heard how his special someone started giggling cutely he felt an inexplicable warmth in his heart. He loved the way in which this adorable and kind boy made him feel. With Baekhyun he felt alive and happy, felt that he could find a home in him. Nevertheless, although now his life was more than satisfying, even though he had a boyfriend who loved him and gave him more than he deserved, even though he had a happy and healthy life … even so he was still waiting for that something or rather that someone that could complete his life. That was right, Chanyeol had someone who wasn’t Baekhyun in his heart too. Undoubtedly the boy he had now in his arms was his special someone, but _he_ was the love of his life – or so he thought.

The black-haired guy broke away from his cute boyfriend and watched him again, enjoying the sight of a smiling Baekhyun with that square smile that he adored so much and crescent eyes that melted his heart. He always thought that Baekhyun looked even more beautiful just like that, smiling and cheerful.

“Ta-da!” The blond-haired boy exclaimed cheerfully as he finally showed his boyfriend what he had in his hands.

Chanyeol's face instantly brightened up when he saw the piece of navy blue cloth, and attacked Baekhyun with kisses again, really grateful. Perhaps in the eyes of many Chanyeol was just overreacting, but that tie meant a lot to him, because it contained many memories of his childhood and of _him_ , so the man cherished this tie as if it were a real treasure.

“Channie, stop!” The smaller shrieked giggling adorably as he was showered with Chanyeol’s kisses.

The giant stopped immediately and looked at his boyfriend gently, with adoration. “You’re the best, you know that?” Said sweetly.

The other guy rolled his eyes at those words, but he blushed anyways. “Well, leave me on the floor so I can knot this properly, Channie.” Said with pink cheeks.

He complied instantly, leaving him on the ground carefully as if he were made of porcelain. Then he leaned in so his little boyfriend could put the tie around his neck. Baekhyun, with a cute smile on his face, began to knot the tie around his neck delicately, moving his pretty fingers with elegance and finesse. He was frowning in concentration, wanting his work to be perfect. Meanwhile the black-haired boy gazed every one of his features, running with his gaze every corner of his puppy's face closely, admiring once again the beauty of the boy. He never grew weary of gazing at him, not when he still couldn’t believe that this cute boy had chosen him from among the entire population.

“All ready! Now go fix that hair and your attire. I’m going to serve the breakfast.” Baekhyun said eagerly.

The taller boy smiled softly as he nodded with his head. “Thanks, baby boy. I won’t take long.” And after giving him a kiss on his forehead, he went to the bathroom to style his untamable hair.

Once he was presentable he headed to the dining area just to find a feast positioned nicely on the table. Just by looking all the food that was distributed throughout the table his mouth watered, already knowing that everything was going to taste delicious because Baekhyun was a professional cook, and one of the best at his young age furthermore. Definitely one of the benefits of having a cook as a boyfriend was the delicious and varied food that he could have at his disposal almost every day, especially if he himself didn’t even know how to make fried an egg. He also had the privilege to try all kind of food from different parts of the world because his boyfriend liked to experiment with international dishes as well.

This time his little boyfriend opted to make an American breakfast. There was bacon, omelette and toasts on one side. Natural orange juice to awaken their taste buds and some coffee just in case. Fruit salad, homemade oatmeal cookies and corn flakes cereal accompanied by white milk. Pancakes, and finally wholemeal bread with slices of ham.

“Wow.” Chanyeol merely said looking the food hungrily.

The smaller chuckled, happy for having surprised his man. “Come and sit, don’t just stand there watching.” Said with a small laugh.

Without further delay the taller sat down quickly to start devouring the delicacies that his boyfriend had prepared especially for him. But just as he was about to attack the food he realized that Baekhyun was seated in a chair and not on his lap as he usually did every morning. Hence, without making a move to get close to the food, he stayed still without doing anything while he stared at his boyfriend expectantly.

The blond-haired boy, feeling Chanyeol’s stare fixed on his face, made eye contact with the giant. Chanyeol continued to stare at him with big expectant eyes, as if he were waiting for something. At first the puppy didn’t understand what he wanted, but after a few seconds he realized what was going on in that head of his. So, with a sweet smile and bright eyes, he stood up and sat on the lap of his childish boyfriend, who wrapped his long arms immediately around his slim waist, burying his face in the crook of the smaller's neck to smell his distinctive scent. His baby boy had a rather unique smell actually, had a citrus scent mixed with something sweet that could perhaps be flowers. His obsession with his scent reached such extremes that for some time he used Baekhyun’s perfume to have that smell around him all the time considering that it was his favorite smell in the whole world, but he failed, so he concluded that the scent that made him go crazy was just Baekhyun’s natural smell or something.

“Feed me, puppy.” The giant whined still with his head buried in his neck, sounding like a bratty child, which wasn’t particularly his own fault because it was finally Baekhyun who spoiled him too much.

The petite boy immediately got his hands to work; he cut a piece of bacon while Chanyeol opened his mouth widely like a little boy at the same time his eyes danced in anticipation, making Baekhyun smile gleefully. He loved to see this happy and content Chanyeol, and this was one of the reasons why he pampered him so much, precisely because he wanted to see him smile every single day, wanted to see him enjoy his life for once. He didn’t want to see the Chanyeol he met five years ago, not in a million years, it would be too depressing.

After the giant finished eating the delicious breakfast, it was time to go to what the future held. He was nervous and tense, he had a feeling that he was going to forget everything he rehearsed the night before with the help of his puppy-like boyfriend. But he had to remind himself that if he didn’t get the job the world wasn’t going to end, after all it was the first interview of his life and enter the labor market was no joke.

“Just remember what I told you and you'll be fine, Channie.” The blond-haired boy said as he checked the final details, such as the hair, the position of the tie and if his boyfriend had anything in between his teeth. Everything was in order. Finally he looked into his eyes and gave him his famous eye-smile. “Perfect. You look very professional and handsome, as always, love.”

The giant chuckled. “Thank you, and you look absolutely beautiful, baby boy.”

The smaller boy blushed, tinting his chubby cheeks with a lovely pinkish color as he looked at his tall boyfriend with a small smile, embarrassed. And the petite boy looked so adorable and small that Chanyeol wanted to hug him and eat him with kisses, but he was running late and knew that if he kissed those luscious pink lips he would lose all track of time and space. So he just gave him a sweet kiss on each of his cheeks, said goodbye promising that he would think of him every time he felt like throwing up and left their apartment with a genuine smile on his face, thinking about the adorable blush on the adorable cheeks of his adorable baby boy.

*.*

Baekhyun noticed right away that something was wrong in the moment in which his boyfriend stepped into the apartment; Chanyeol hadn’t announced his arrival with an “I'm home, baby boy”, he didn’t even looked at him as he walked past him. The giant was definitely acting in a strange and unusual way, something had happened. Obviously his first thought was about the interview, thinking that perhaps it didn’t go very well. And being the patient and understanding lover that Baekhyun was he didn’t question him just yet, he simply stood on the sidelines while he watched how his boyfriend walked absently and slowly into the main room. The blond-haired boy knew his man very well, so he knew he needed time alone when something bothered him, he needed the solitude to calm the frustrations that could build up in his mind and that was what the puppy planned to give him for now; time alone.

Baekhyun waited patiently. He waited for minutes, even hours and when the sky turned dark he knew that something was very, very wrong with his giant. Not only he had remained locked in the room for hours but hadn’t left his refuge not even to eat something, besides he didn’t seem interested in knowing whether Baekhyun was somewhere inside the apartment or not either. This was really strange and he couldn’t keep on waiting without doing anything to try to figure out what the hell was going on with Chanyeol. Thus, with determination and resolve, he headed to their bedroom. Yet, when he was in front of the closed door he hesitated for a few seconds, not wanting to just come and demand an explanation. Baekhyun had always respected the privacy of others and it didn’t feel right to come and disturb his boyfriend out of nowhere, after all Chanyeol looked exhausted and disoriented when he saw him enter the apartment and didn’t want to burden the taller boy even more with annoying questions. But again, he should find out what was happening to help him solve whatever it was tormenting him. Therefore, bringing together all the courage left on his little body once again, placed his delicate hand on the doorknob and twisted it slowly. Baekhyun didn’t dare to enter right away, so he first poked his head to take a look, which was very difficult considering that Chanyeol hadn’t even turned on the lights, leaving him in the dark and being the only source of light the light of the moon. The only thing he could see in the darkness was that his boyfriend was lying in the bed still in his formal attire. He didn’t know if he was awake or not though.

“Channie?” He whispered gently. “Are you awake?”

Silence.

“Channie, I'm going to turn on the light, all right?” He said in the same gentle and soft tone of voice, not caring if he was sleeping or not.

When the petite boy switched on the light he realized that his boyfriend wasn’t actually asleep but was staring at the ceiling with an absent look. He can clearly see that his mind was elsewhere, leaving behind only an inert body. In his face it could also be seen the bewilderment and frustration, an expression that the puppy had never seen in his boyfriend’s face before. And if his suspicions were correct, he couldn’t believe his giant were so affected by the interview of this morning, it was obviously an important issue, but it was his first time interacting with the labor market and didn’t have to be disappointed by the bad result he surely obtained in this interview, after all more opportunities would come in the future, so Baekhyun didn’t understand how a simple interview could leave his Chanyeol so lost and frustrated.

“Channie, are you okay, love?” He asked coming into the room, walking in his direction to sit on the edge of the bed just beside his boyfriend, who still didn’t acknowledge Baekhyun’s presence.

Baekhyun watched his face closely, waiting for a reaction on his part patiently, yet the seconds and minutes passed and Chanyeol didn’t even spare him a quick glance, fact that only got him more worried. This had never happened before … Well, not seen since a long time ago at least. He hadn’t seen him like this since they met five years ago.

“Something went wrong with the interview? Is that why you're like this?” He tried again, always with a soft voice, not wanting to seem too demanding. And due to the permanent silence of his boyfriend – who all he did was stare at the ceiling – Baekhyun started to get despaired. “Channie please, talk to me.” He begged worriedly. “You haven’t left the room since you got here, you haven’t eaten anything either … You haven’t even noticed my presence.” He added the last part in a quiet, sad voice.

Apparently that was enough to make the giant react, because after saying those words Chanyeol – still in his position – lifted his arm and put his hand on Baekhyun’s cheek as he looked at him apologetically. The smaller boy smiled slightly for finally having caught his attention as he leaned into Chanyeol’s soft touch.

“Come here, baby boy.” The black-haired boy said, imitating the faint smile of his little one.

Without wasting any more time Baekhyun climbed into bed in all fours and positioned himself between his boyfriend’s arms, leaning his head on his chest as he wrapped his thin arms around the giant’s waist. Chanyeol meanwhile put his chin above the petite’s head as he wrapped his arms around Baekhyun’s small frame, drawing him even closer to his body not wanting to leave an empty space between their bodies, not now when he needed urgently the warmth emanating from his body.

“I’m sorry.” The giant muttered looking down expecting to meet his puppy’s eyes, yet the latter had his face buried in his chest, which only made him feel guiltier. He had ignored his baby boy throughout the day and knowing Baekhyun he must have been very worried about his behavior. He shouldn’t have ignored him at all, because no matter what, Baekhyun wasn’t to blame for anything. He was innocent, too innocent actually and that was what the giant feared. The taller guy was afraid to break a kind, sweet and completely innocent man.

“It’s okay, just don’t do that again … I was worried, you know.” He murmured against his chest, and yet Chanyeol could understand every word perfectly.

Chanyeol just hummed in agreement as he started stroking his boyfriend’s silky blonde hair slowly, taking the proper time to massage his scalp lovingly, knowing that his baby boy loved when he did this. If Baekhyun were a cat he would be purring right now, since he was really enjoying the attention he was getting from his man after being ignored almost the whole day. Although he still felt somewhat uneasy, he hadn’t figured out yet what was wrong with his lover after all. But now, looking at the situation in more detail, the puppy decided that he would remain silent until Chanyeol decided to entrust him his concerns by his own initiative. Baekhyun was confident that his man was going to talk to him sooner or later, knowing in advance that the giant had serious problems when solving his issues as he always needed help or advice to cope with everything that ailed him. Besides it turned out that the most comprehensive, helpful and caring person that Chanyeol knew was his own boyfriend, so he always relied on him to appease his hardships.

However, this time was different, because the black-haired guy couldn’t simply take refuge in the warmth of his special someone and tell him about the event that took place after the interview as if it were a mundane and insignificant matter, because it wasn’t easy to talk about that for Chanyeol. In fact it could be regarded as the event that perhaps would change his love life forever, this event might be the beginning of the end of the relationship that he cherished so much. He didn’t want to lose his precious puppy, because only God knew how special his Baekhyun was for Chanyeol. But this seemed beyond his control, because since he stepped into the apartment he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about _him_ , and it was wrong, so so wrong.

“Baekhyun, you know I love you, right? You know you're my special someone no matter what, right? You know that without you my life would be gray and without meaning, right?” The giant said softly, still playing with locks of his boyfriend's hair absentmindedly.

Baekhyun immediately stiffened upon hearing those words, not because he didn’t want to hear them or something of the sort but because it was very suspicious, especially when his boyfriend said it out of the blue; it was like a kind of confession before revealing big news whether they were good or bad. For all he knew Chanyeol was about to confess that he had cheated on him or something, not that he didn't trust him but still.

The blond-haired boy lifted his head and rested his chin on the giant’s chest to look up at him, reflecting perfectly in his face the confusion and the fear that this sudden and unexpected confession could mean. “Why are you telling me these things now, Chanyeol? What’s happening?” He couldn’t help but ask.

The giant looked at him with a small smile. He was really waiting for a reaction like this, because Baekhyun had proved to be quite perceptive when it came to Chanyeol, always knowing when something wasn’t in order. But of course, today the giant made things easier by practically being isolated for a whole day; the signs were very clear.

“What? Am I not allowed to profess my love to my adorable boyfriend?” He pouted, trying to hide at all costs the guilt he felt at that point for lying to him. He never lied to Baekhyun, there was no need for it since his baby boy never got angry over trivial things and he was the most reliable person Chanyeol knew, so he never felt the need to lie … until now clearly, which made him feel really guilty. Because the truth was that he had confessed his love now that he could do so, now that they were together, now that everything was fine, because the taller couldn’t ensure the safety of their relationship anymore now that a _certain_ person had appeared after six years of being MIA.

The petite boy just smiled at him gently, even knowing that his boyfriend was evading the question, but didn’t press the subject any further, he would continue waiting until the giant decided to tell him the truth, he had faith in his man. “I love you too, Channie. I love you so much, more than you can ever imagine.” He answered sweetly, looking at his boyfriend with an indescribable love, a love that nobody could question, not if Baekhyun looked at him in that so unique and intense way.

Chanyeol wanted to cry with just immersing himself in those loving eyes. He knew how much his puppy loved him, after all he could see it in every little detail, he could see it in his eyes and could hear it in his voice, and he hated not being able to return those feelings with the same intensity. He was completely sure that he loved Baekhyun, but there was something that prevented him from giving him all his heart, and that something or rather someone was precisely Kyungsoo, who still had an important part of his heart. Chanyeol felt guilty all the time for that, because his baby boy deserved so much more than Chanyeol could offer, Heck! Baekhyun deserved to be loved sincerely and passionately. He was _that_ lovable. And the giant felt really honored to be loved by such a good person, he didn’t feel worthy but he was certainly grateful, because if he hadn’t met Baekhyun he wouldn’t be here right now. He'd probably be stuck in his old house; lost and depending on the temporary relief that the alcohol provided, believing that living a life without his beloved Kyungsoo wasn’t worth living. Baekhyun inspired him to want to be someone in life, showed him a new perspective and made him reflect on his decisions. Baekhyun came into his life just at the right time, just when he wanted to give up his studies and just when he thought that all he wanted to do was forget about the harsh reality. Baekhyun took his hand, led him throughout the years and never let go of him. His boyfriend was literally his light, his bluff on the darkness … his inspiration. But again, his heart was being terribly stubborn because he refused to forget his first love, he refused to let him go and that didn’t allow him to devote himself exclusively on his puppy, much less now that Kyungsoo had suddenly appeared in the picture. Everything was a mess and he didn’t know what to do.

“I know, baby boy. I know that you do.” He said stroking his cheek with extreme delicacy, as if he were touching a porcelain doll. “Now come closer so I can kiss the hell out of you.” He added with a smirk.

But despite Chanyeol's words it was him who took the initiative to move first, positioning himself above his baby boy almost immediately, hovering over him. Baekhyun only gasped by the sudden movement, looking at his man with big innocent eyes, but when he understood what was happening, he grinned boyishly, enjoying this way too much. When they finally were facing each other Chanyeol attacked his boyfriend’s lips in an almost desperate way, tasting those soft and addictive lips vehemently, enjoying every inch of them. The taller licked and nibbled his bottom lip carefully, not wanting to hurt him, but it was difficult trying to control himself when all he wanted to do was to devour the small boy.

Meanwhile Baekhyun tried to keep up with his boyfriend. Chanyeol was a very good kisser and the smaller found himself following his lead clumsily, letting out moans in the process, which only gave the giant a chance to slide his tongue inside the familiar cavity. And in this way began a battle of dominance, tongues colliding and dancing together as if they had life of their own. Everything was more or less even – although clearly the giant had the advantage as usual – until Chanyeol began to suck his tongue in a sensual and pleasurable way, making the petite boy lost himself immediately at the mercy of the desires of his boyfriend, he wasn’t complaining about it tough, loving the way Chanyeol kissed him as if he were the only one for him, even knowing that it was a little far from the truth. After a few more seconds of kissing passionately, they pulled away slightly from each other to take in oxygen. The giant took that opportunity to attack this time his delicious and slender milky neck, which yelled to be marked by him. First he licked and kissed the entire surface that was within his reach and then he focused on licking and sucking his Adam apple, enjoying every moan coming out of the beautiful lips of his lover, prompting him to suck harder, leaving red marks along his entire throat. When the taller was satisfied with his work, he descended to the petite’s protuberant collarbones, which were soon nibbled and sucked by Chanyeol, who was having the time of his life marking this beautiful creature as his once again.

“C-Chanyeol … ah …” Baekhyun moaned caressing Chanyeol’s scalp, at the same time he twisted his body into pure pleasure, since his neck and collarbone were extremely sensitive parts of his body, especially his neck.

The black-haired boy just kept on doing his thing with his lover’s collarbone until it turned red with a purple hue, indicating that he had done a good job. And before going down to his nipples that were still covered by his shirt, Chanyeol kissed his lips softly, playing with his lips very gently. Baekhyun wrapped his arms around the giant’s neck, pulling him impossibly closer to his body, wanting to deepen the kiss. But just when the situation was actually starting to really heat up Chanyeol’s stomach growled strongly as if it were a beast, making them break the kiss abruptly.

The taller looked at his boyfriend with embarrassment written all over his face as he cursed his stomach for ruining this magical and perfect moment, after all hunger was no excuse to ruin his precious time with his puppy.

The blond-haired boy started giggling adorably as he looked back at his boyfriend with crescent eyes. “I knew you were hungry, you haven’t eaten since breakfast, right?”

“Forget it, now I just want to eat _you_ , baby boy.” He said with the intention of kissing his lips again, but before he could fulfill his purpose his stomach growled again and this time much louder.

The petite boy giggled again. “You are hungry and it’s my duty as your personal cook to fill that stomach of yours, love.” The petite boy said cheerfully as he winked at him playfully. “Come on, get off me.”

The giant shifted his look to the lips that he had been so close to claim as his own again and narrowed his eyes, glaring at them as if they were making fun of him. “Don’t laugh at me lips, after eating you guys will be mine again.” He announced with seriousness written all over his face.

Baekhyun chuckled loudly, amused by his childish boyfriend. “Oh my God, I cannot believe you were just talking to my lips, Chanyeol!” He said laughing.

“You don’t understand, they are making fun of me!” He exclaimed clumsily, this time directing his look to his lover’s eyes.

The petite boy rolled his eyes endearingly. “Okay, but can you please get off of me? Let’s go for your food, honey.” He said gently.

“Are you going to feed me?” He asked expectantly for the mere possibility of being pampered by his lover.

Baekhyun’s eyes instantly softened and he nodded smiling sweetly. “Of course, Channie, if that's what you want.”

“Okay then, let’s go!” The taller boy said getting up eagerly of the bed. He was eager to try today’s dinner. Well, actually he always got excited when it was mealtime considering that Baekhyun always surprised him with new dishes almost every week and each of them tasted ridiculously yummy.

Whereas Chanyeol was seated at the table, Baekhyun was overheating the leftover from today's lunch. The black-haired boy watched intently as his little lover moved into the kitchen nimbly as the professional he was, anticipating to take a bite of what he had cooked – since he was really hungry, he had been so lost in thought throughout the day that he hadn’t noticed that little detail – and each time they made eye contact Baekhyun smiled at him happily. It was amazing how after all these years of being together the puppy still managed to make his heart beat this wildly, it was enough just one small smile of his to make wonders with the giant's heart rate. Everything indicated that his baby boy was his happiness and his future, but then why the hell he kept thinking about Kyungsoo? Why the hell he kept visualizing those adorable big curious eyes that looked at him so tenderly today when he found himself face to face with him? Why he wanted to see him again after all the suffering he went through because of him? Why? Why couldn’t he just love his puppy-like boyfriend and focus only on him as it should be?

The giant hadn’t realized that he had spaced out until he saw his boyfriend appear carrying two plates in his hands, smiling beautifully as ever. And after giving the giant a short kiss on the cheek the puppy put the dish in front of his love, and then he sat immediately next to his boyfriend knowing he had to feed him if he wanted to fulfill his promise. Chanyeol eyed the plate curiously, not knowing what it was what his nostrils were smelling, which it wasn’t unusual anyway, he just knew that it looked delicious and smelled really good.

“What is this, Baek?” He asked still watching the dish without moving a muscle.

The blond-haired boy chuckled, Chanyeol’s reactions never let him down really. “This is a very popular and famous French dish, known as Quiche Lorraine. It’s basically a cheese tart, with ham and bacon and I added salad on the side.” He answered with a bright smile. He always got excited when he talked about food and recipes, it was really his passion. He loved cooking as much as he loved eating.

“Oh!” The taller boy exclaimed amazed.

Chanyeol, excited for the idea of trying a French dish without having to go to a fancy restaurant, cut a piece of the slice of cake without waiting for his boyfriend to do it for him and shoved it into his mouth. When the food made contact with his taste buds he moaned in pleasure, enjoying the food by chewing it extremely slow. Yep, he had decided; Baekhyun was definitely one of the best cooks out there, better than any five star restaurant.

“Well, I think your expression of delight is proof enough for me, Channie. I guess I did a good job in this one.” The petite boy said with a huge smile in his face. The feeling Baekhyun got upon seeing Chanyeol’s look each time the latter tasted something he prepared was simply priceless, and he always anticipated it. No positive criticism from a famous food critic could compete with the happiness that filled his heart when his Chanyeol compliment his culinary skills.

“You have no idea, puppy. This is absolutely delicious! So yummy!” The giant complimented him turning his head to look at him with a huge and maybe creepy smile. “Now feed me, please.” He demanded cheerfully, pushing his plate in his direction with an innocent smile. He really loved the attention he always received from his boy, he felt very loved.

The other guy let out adorable giggles, loving every second of this moment; he had a weak spot for a happy and childish Chanyeol and Baekhyun would do anything to make him smile, not wanting to see him sad and stressed about something. Hence, he started to feed his very big baby enthusiastically, enjoying the sounds of pleasure that the latter did when chewing. And every time they made eye contact Baekhyun smiled at him sweetly, watching with delight how his boyfriend's eyes sparkled every time he looked at him. Baekhyun knew about the effect he himself had on his giant, he wasn’t stupid after all. He could see the glow that always resided in his boyfriend’s eyes when the petite boy looked at him, he could see the adoration in his eyes when they made love and could feel as well the delicacy and care with which Chanyeol treated him all the time. Chanyeol loved him sincerely, but it didn’t seem enough and Baekhyun knew that. There was something that kept them apart and the smaller had the feeling that the moment of truth would come sooner than he had expected. Maybe it was the way in which his boyfriend acted throughout the day, or the confession he made minutes ago. Maybe it was the guilt hidden behind all those layers of joy and love in his giant’s eyes right now. But either way, deep down in his heart he knew the interview wasn’t what had been numbing his boyfriend's mind, deep down in his heart knew that something serious had happened today for Chanyeol to act this way and there was only one viable possibility. His heart was screaming the answer, but Baekhyun didn’t want to admit it, because if his conclusions were correct he would lose his love forever.

After dinner Chanyeol had calmed down enough thanks to his puppy, but that peace didn’t last for long, because that would be the first night after a long time in dreaming about Kyungsoo, recalling the moment he left him …

 

_“I’m sorry, Chanyeol, but I have to do this.” The smaller guy muttered with a determined look on his baby face. “It’s a unique opportunity and I want to do it.” He added with a softer tone of voice._

_Chanyeol scrutinized the expression of the boy warily, almost angrily, wondering again and again how the love of his life could do this without even hesitating, without even doubting for a second about this unexpected decision. He looked into the other’s eyes and what he saw in them almost destroyed him; Kyungsoo was with his head held high, looking at him with a blank and meaningless expression, determined to take the next step of his life without taking into account Chanyeol’s feelings. He couldn’t recognize in this boy the Kyungsoo he knew and loved, because this guy in front of him with that so cynical and emotionless expression seemed not to care for what he was leaving behind just for an empty and shallow dream – according to Chanyeol. He really couldn’t believe it. The taller boy was literally speechless, not knowing what to say or how to react, because the “I’m sorry” mumbled by the lips that he had kissed a hundred times was incredibly insincere and mechanical, just by mere obligation. Definitely this wasn’t his little Soo._

_“Don’t leave me.” The taller guy muttered merely, looking at him with grief and longing. “You can’t just leave me like this.”_

_“Sorry, but I didn’t come here to ask for your permission, I came here to say goodbye, Chanyeol.” The other clarified coldly._

_The taller boy was still confused by what was happening, but above all Kyungsoo’s attitude baffled him. Did he not feel sad for abandoning him? Do all these years together didn’t matter to him? Could he really say goodbye this coldly even knowing that it might be the last time to see each other?_

_“But what will happen to us?” He asked uncertainly, unable to conceive of a future without his beloved._

_The smaller boy sighed tediously, since this was taking longer than he thought it would. If he had known that Chanyeol was going to be this stubborn he had say goodbye by a call or something. “I think it's time to try new things, I mean we've been together throughout our entire lives so far and it is time to go our separate ways, Chanyeol. The truth is that you've been a big part of my life, you’ve always been my best friend and much more than that, but I want to discover the world. I want to discover the unknown and leave behind the known.” He finished saying with a tender smile._

_And he could finally see the real Kyungsoo, showing the world that sweet, innocent smile so characteristic of the little guy, and certainly Chanyeol was going to miss it so much. On the other hand it really hurt to hear those words, because clearly the smaller boy was bored with his life here in Seoul, and that meant that he was bored of Chanyeol too._

_The giant always thought they were going to be together no matter what, after all they hadn’t been apart in eighteen years, but here he was the little guy saying goodbye as if it were easy to leave behind a loved one to board in exactly six hours a plane, which would lead him to another continent, without having said his plans before, and that was perhaps the saddest part all of this. The taller boy woke up this morning with a smile on his face believing that this evening – as every Friday afternoon – would go to his best friend/lover’s house for a comedy movie marathon, without having the faintest idea that this would happen, which is why he felt rather betrayed. How Kyungsoo could do something like this? Did he even think about him for a minute before making this decision?_

_“Well, before I leave aren’t you going to give me a hug, Yeol? Or how about a kiss?” Kyungsoo asked tilting his head cutely, smiling at him with that smile that made Chanyeol go crazy, but not this time though, because all he could see in the eyes of his beloved was mockery. He really felt that he was making fun of him at that moment. The giant really didn’t understand his attitude, only yesterday they were kissing passionately expressing their deep love for each other._

_Chanyeol couldn’t move his body and his lips didn’t seem to move either. The taller guy was just staring at his loved one with a frown, a very angry and pained scowl. Perhaps that intense stare was enough to scare away the other guy, because at the time Kyungsoo immersed himself in Chanyeol’s brown eyes his smile disappeared from his face, feeling the need to leave as soon as possible. So that was what the little guy did, he looked at his best friend for the last time and then turned around to continue with his path, leaving behind a hurt and disoriented Chanyeol, who had just realized that he had lost the only boy he had ever loved in his short life; his first love, his first kiss, his first sexual intercourse, his family … his everything._

*.*

In the following weeks there was nothing out of the ordinary. Chanyeol didn’t see Kyungsoo again a after that first encounter and didn’t know whether to be relieved or not for that. Part of him wanted to see him again, because he had missed him so badly over the years and always hoped to see him again, his heart has been waiting for him all along. Moreover, he couldn’t deny that the little guy had undoubtedly grown more attractive and mature since the last time he saw him, although that was expected.

He could still remember how his heart started pounding strongly against his chest cavity when they made eye contact. The guy could still remember the scene perfectly, which keep reproducing on his head even after weeks.

 

_Chanyeol had come out of interview with a confident smile on his face, knowing he had done well according of how impressed each member of the committee was for his curriculum, because in spite of not having experience he had graduated with honors, plus he had responded adequately each question proving that he had a great potential as an actuary. Therefore he had a good chance of being hired on that company. Besides he knew that luck was with him since his tie was still knotted tightly around his neck and Baekhyun’s words were still hanging around his head giving him confidence. All he wanted to do was getting home and tell his boyfriend how well he had done in his first interview. He was in high spirits and wanted to live this joy with his baby boy._

_The giant was so immersed in his thoughts that he didn’t see the small guy walking in his own direction with his eyes fixed on the screen of his mobile, so naturally they ended up bumping into each other, and owing to the impact the smaller guy landed on his butt on the hard surface of the pavement. Chanyeol didn’t suffer any damage because the light weight of the other boy wasn’t enough to move Chanyeol’s big body, so the taller boy saw with eyes wide open in bewilderment how the guy who was on the floor winced in pain._

_At first the taller guy didn’t seem to recognize the stranger, after all he had his head down examining whether his sacred mobile had been damaged due to the fall, but when the stranger looked up to see the person responsible for his downfall Chanyeol’s heart seemed to stop abruptly to start beating the second after wildly, kicking off an irregular heartbeat._

_It was impossible, this couldn’t be happening, not when he had gone abroad six years ago; it couldn’t be Kyungsoo … It couldn’t be, right? However, the pain he felt in his chest could mean only one thing._

_“Park Chanyeol?” The smaller guy mumbled, looking into his eyes with genuine surprise._

_It was official; it was definitely Kyungsoo. He could never forget that beautiful, soft voice and certainly couldn’t erase the memory of those big gentle eyes that now were looking at him with surprise and relief. And before he could react, the smaller boy had stood at the speed of light and hugged him while he buried his face in the giant’s chest contentedly, practically thanking the heavens for putting Chanyeol on his way once again._

_In the meantime Chanyeol was tensed, unable to understand what was happening, his mind was simply blank. Yet, after several long seconds, he began to slowly process the situation in which he found himself. He finally realized that the person who was holding him was Do Kyungsoo, his friend since childhood, his best friend, his first love. And suddenly Chanyeol felt like crying, because after all these years his little Soo was here between his arms, after all these years he had returned to Korea, Kyungsoo had returned and it was so fucking good to be true._

_Chanyeol was about to give in and embrace him tightly against his chest to not let him go ever again, but just as he made a move to hold him back the image of a certain adorable and radiant puppy came to his mind instantly, making him freeze in place once again, letting fall his arms to his sides, leaving him lost and more confused than ever, with mixed feelings that launched a war within him. This was wrong. He couldn’t feel like this, couldn’t betray his boyfriend’s feelings. He couldn’t be happy for Kyungsoo’s appearance … Baekhyun didn’t deserve it._

_“Oh my God, Chanyeol! You don’t know how happy I am for finally having found you, oh God.” Whispered gently the boy curled up comfortably on the giant’s chest as if he belonged there, as if time hadn’t passed at all. “I've been looking for you, Yeol. Where were you? Why didn’t you wait for me?” He complained as if he had the damn right to do so._

_Chanyeol didn’t know what to think of those words. If Kyungsoo was saying the truth and indeed he had been looking for him that meant that to some extent the smaller was thinking about him all this time, which is contradictory to the words he said before leaving. Nothing made sense, it was like this little guy were really playing with his mind, but the look he gave him only seconds ago was so real and just so Kyungsoo that it was hard to think that it was fake. Besides the nickname the smaller had created for him only distracted his mind even more. Hence, Chanyeol did the only thing he could do for now; he put his hands on his small shoulders and pulled him away from his body regardless of Kyungsoo’s resistance, ignoring also the look of bewilderment that the little guy was giving him._

_“What’s wrong, Yeol? Why are you pushing me away?” He asked with sorrow, looking up at him innocently making him look incredibly adorable and Chanyeol took all his willpower not to kiss him then and there. “Didn’t you miss me at all?”_

_The taller guy wanted to laugh when he heard that ridiculous question, because not only he had missed him dearly but the little guy had managed to take part of his hurt heart with him._

_The giant wanted to say many things, but something stopped him to do so; Baekhyun. The puppy was probably in their cozy apartment waiting to hear about the giant’s day, and probably he had taken a day off work just to be with Chanyeol, and the latter wasn’t going to waste his time trying to relive the past when Kyungsoo seemed to be playing with his mind and feelings, much less knowing that his baby boy was waiting for him at home._

_“I’m sorry, but I have to go, Kyungsoo.” He said avoiding answering the little guy’s questions as he tried really hard to look nonchalant and unaffected when actually with just saying his name aloud made the giant shiver with emotion._

_The smaller boy was helpless, not knowing how to react to the rejection of the man he loved, he didn’t understand such cold treatment. It was true that they didn’t break up in very good terms, but Kyungsoo never stopped thinking about the giant, never stopped loving him either, Chanyeol was still an essential part of his life. It hurt to see how his love looked at him in that so indifferent way, as if he wasn’t happy to see him after six years for being apart._

_“But Chanyeol … I missed you.” Kyungsoo muttered with watery eyes._

_On the outside Chanyeol looked immutable, but on the inside he was a big mess, especially now that his little Soo looked so vulnerable and breakable. He wanted to hug him for God’s sake, wanted to give him the protection the little guy was demanding, but it didn’t feel right like before, now there was only guilt whenever the taller guy wanted to have his former lover between his arms._

_“Kyungsoo, I have a boyfriend.” He said straightforwardly, without wanting to extend the encounter any longer without being sure of being able to continue this facet of indifference._

_The giant tried to not seem affected by the expression of betrayal, helplessness and pain that had appeared in Kyungsoo’s face after his confession. Although he didn’t understand anything to be honest, why the boy looked so devastated when it was him who left without further explanation? Kyungsoo had seemed so determined at the moment of the farewell that this sight of him on the verge of tears after finding out that Chanyeol was in a relationship seemed unreal and ridiculous. Kyungsoo left him hanging, so did he really expect Chanyeol to wait for six years without even knowing if Kyungsoo was coming back or not? The little guy had no freaking right to feel betrayed._

_“W-What … ? B-Boyfriend? Do you really have a new boyfriend?” The smaller said in a trembling voice, unable to believe that Chanyeol had already gotten over him when he himself hadn’t._

_“Yes, and now he must be waiting for me, so I have to go.” He said determined to continue with his path. But before he could take a step away from his former lover, the latter grabbed his wrist to stop him._

_Chanyeol looked at the smaller with a neutral expression, unlike Kyungsoo, who looked back at him with a small and shaky smile, you could tell he was trying really hard to hold back his tears. “At least have my number. I'd really like to talk to you sometime … for the old times?” He added when he saw the taller boy’s cautious look. He pulled out a small card – used for business purposes – from his jacket pocket._

_The taller boy stared down at the card with apprehension. He wanted to take it but he knew it wouldn’t be a very good decision because if he wanted to move on with his life he had to leave the past behind, but again, his heart yearned for this little guy, his heart still had a place just for him. And after a mini internal battle, he decided to take the card by convincing himself that this meant absolutely nothing. But deep down he differed from that opinion._

_When the giant accepted the card Kyungsoo gave him a genuine smile, relieved that his love still wanted to keep in touch after all, especially when he noticed a familiar garment around Chanyeol’s neck; the tie that the smaller guy had given him years ago. And when he saw it knew that there was still hope for their broken relationship._

_After putting the small piece of cardboard in his pants pocket Chanyeol turned around to walk away, without looking at his ex-lover for the last time._

 

Chanyeol knew it hadn’t been very wise of him to have accepted the damn card, after all he should have guessed that it would become a constant temptation; a reminder that his so called love of his life was just a phone call away. He had really tried to not give in to his impulses, but here he was now, with that expensive piece of cardboard between his trembling hands while he watched the number printed on it intensely. The guilt was eating him from the inside but so his longing to hear his voice again. He couldn’t get Kyungsoo out of his head, but couldn’t stop thinking about Baekhyun either and how disappointed and hurt the puppy would be if he were to find out about the encounter with his former lover.

Nevertheless that didn’t stop him, because he suddenly found himself with his phone glued to his ear while his heart was beating against his chest like crazy with anxiety and anticipation, waiting for a certain person to answer the call once and for all. He felt like he could be discovered at any time, so the giant was terrified of being caught just in the act and the fact of knowing that his boyfriend was now working and that he wouldn’t arrive till late at night didn’t soothed him in the least

“Hello?” A soft and tender voice answered.

And when he heard that beautiful voice Chanyeol knew it wouldn’t be the last time in hearing it.


	2. Chapter 2

Baekhyun rested his head comfortably on his boyfriend’s shoulder while his eyes were fixed on the TV screen, but he wasn’t paying any attention to the movie. His mind was elsewhere, in a place where his insecurities and fears haunted him mercilessly, they were like voices hanging around his mind all the time and they were telling him things. The smaller tried very hard to ignore those stupid voices, but it was hard to do so when he knew deep down they were right somehow. After all he wasn’t stupid, somewhat naive, but by no means stupid. For all he knew his fears were very real and were perfectly justified, it wasn’t something that came out of nowhere. No. The evidence was right before his eyes. Every time he saw Chanyeol the puppy could tell that something was happening. It was the way in which the giant seemed to distance himself increasingly from the blond haired boy, it was the way he always seemed busy when the petite boy wanted to have his attention, it was the way he always seemed distracted when they were together or it was just the way in which Chanyeol refused to let him in. Even now; the blond-haired boy practically had to beg him to watch this film together, wanting to  have some time alone with his distant boyfriend desperately and yet the latter still didn’t acknowledge him. Chanyeol was merely focused on the screen of his phone with a stupid grin on his face, oblivious to what was happening around him and certainly ignoring the fact that his boyfriend had his head resting on his shoulder looking for some affection and attention.

No matter how much the puppy longed to share time with his love, he just couldn’t concentrate on the movie and act as if nothing was bothering him when his boyfriend was behaving like this. Baekhyun was about to lose his patience, which didn't happen very often, after all the blond-haired boy was characterized by being calm and demure, so it was very difficult to make him angry. However, he didn't tolerate being witness of how the giant's phone became the latter's best friend, since Baekhyun was beginning to notice that even that stupid cellphone received more attention than himself nowadays. And the worst part was that Baekhyun himself didn’t even understand what was happening. Chanyeol no longer talked of his day with him, therefore they couldn’t talk about what was happening between them. There was almost no communication between the two. That hurt seriously, all this rejection and misunderstanding from the man he loved with all his heart hurt too much, and the smaller didn’t know what to do to fix this. He had already tried to have a serious talk with the giant, but all he got was evasions and sweet nothings, it was as if Chanyeol hadn’t realized how much he was hurting him with his carefree attitude and that worried him frantically, because it had never happened before. His tall boyfriend always gave him his attention unconditionally, he was always there when the puppy felt depressed and was always there to show him how much he loved his baby boy. But lately – exactly since seven weeks ago – his giant boyfriend started acting strange, somehow the taller was still the same but he looked happier, more joyful … more enchanted with life, and Baekhyun wasn’t complaining about that, of course he wanted to see his boyfriend happy. Heck! That was all he wanted for Chanyeol, happiness, but it was all very sudden. Everything started since he came from that damn job interview and that was extremely suspicious, especially considering the state in which he was at the time. Actually the blond-haired boy had several theories regarding this issue, and the most convincing was the most painful one unfortunately. The puppy didn't want to even think about what he would do if Chanyeol were cheating on him with another person. Baekhyun didn’t want to think about that, since he really wanted to trust in his boyfriend, but the latter’s attitudes explained very well this theory. That would explain for example the constant need of the giant to have his phone nearby, as lately the tall guy seemed to text someone constantly. Hence the petite boy had enough reasons to think that Chanyeol was having an affair or something of the sort. And all this suspicion intensified by the fact that there was no time for the two, no time for them to be together, and of course, it didn’t help either the fact that Chanyeol were busy all the time with his new job – at the end he was accepted into the company that had applied in first instance – which by itself already took away enough time with his giant, so he didn’t need other mishaps in his plans.

“Channie, please. You've been with your cellphone far enough, can we watch the movie now, please?” The smaller guy finally said while lifting his head to look at his boyfriend, who was still immersed in his sacred mobile.

Chanyeol was too focused on what he was doing to hear the voice of his boyfriend in the distance. Neither he realized that now his boy was staring at him intensely, almost judging him. His mind and his attention were being monopolized by the object between his hands, so he completely ignored his little boyfriend without even noticing his presence. And obviously Baekhyun noticed this, which left him with a bitter taste in his mouth, feeling really forgotten, something that happened often these days.

“Chanyeol, look at me.” He tried again, attempting to remain calm and unaffected by the indifference with which he was being treated. However the black-haired boy wasn’t paying any attention.

“Chanyeol, please, stop ignoring me.” He muttered pathetically with watery eyes. Generally the puppy-like boy wasn’t so fragile and sensitive. He didn’t cry that easily, believing that nothing was solved by crying. Yet at this point he felt really helpless, because naturally this wasn’t the first time he was ignored like this in these last weeks and he didn’t know what to do anymore. Unwittingly he began to cry silently or so until suddenly the silence was broken by a sob of his.

That small but bitter sob was sound enough for Chanyeol to finally look up on alert, not liking at all that heartbreaking and melancholic sound. When he turned his head to look in Baekhyun’s direction he opened his eyes wide open in bewilderment, and without wasting any more time, he left aside his mobile instantly to cradle the smaller’s face at the speed of light, stroking his wet cheeks with his thumbs gently, as if he were touching a delicate flower petal. With confusion the taller observed the face of his beloved cautiously; trying to register what was happening, without knowing why his baby boy had started to cry so suddenly. He was alarmed and concerned because his puppy didn’t cry often, in fact he could say for sure that he had seen him cry only twice during the five years they had been together, therefore he was pretty worried.

“What’s wrong, Baek? Why are you crying, love?” He asked him gently, still frowning with concern.

The petite guy didn’t answer, actually he started crying harder because it was the first time in weeks that Chanyeol stared at him with such sweetness and concern, so he couldn’t help feeling overwhelmed by the feeling the smaller always experimented when his boyfriend looked into his eyes with such intensity. For some, the small guy was overreacting, but he felt _that_ forgotten and neglected.

“Oh no, don’t cry, my baby boy.” The taller cooed wrapping him his arms ever so gently.

Baekhyun meanwhile hugged him back as he buried his pretty face into the crook of the taller’s neck, inhaling the masculine scent of his man to try to calm himself a little bit. And in this position Baekhyun stopped sobbing gradually while Chanyeol caressed his back gently, saying sweet nothings into his ear in the process as well. When the petite male finally managed to keep his composure he pulled away from the giant to look into the other’s eyes sadly, with an unintentional pout on his cute face, making Chanyeol melt at that view, because even with cheeks soaked in tears and reddened eyes for all the crying he did Baekhyun looked certainly cute. So without being able to stop himself, the giant cradled his pup face again and kissed him softly. It was a simple kiss without tongue involved, just a sweet and tender lip movement which was enough to fill the heart of the smaller with warmth.

“Hey, love, talk to me. Why were you crying?” The black-haired boy breathed against the other’s mouth, brushing his lips against his softly.

Baekhyun didn’t want to talk about it, because he wanted to keep kissing his boyfriend now that he finally had his attention, but knew that it was a perfect opportunity to discuss what was going on, priorities first forgive the redundancy. So he pulled away from his man resignedly and looked at him in the eyes decisively.

“Chanyeol, haven't you realized what is happening? Do you really not know the reason why I was crying?” He inquired tentatively, with a soft and gentle tone of voice.

The tall boy cocked his head as he frowned in confusion, without knowing how to receive those questions because he didn’t know what his boyfriend meant with those words, after all if he knew the reason behind those tears he wouldn’t be asking. Of course he didn’t know anything. And with innocent eyes and an expression that showed the purest confusion, the black-haired boy shook his head indicating that he had no idea what was going on.

The cook sighed in disappointment despite the fact that he knew in advance that this would be the answer, he could tell that Chanyeol was totally clueless on everything that was happening around him. But Baekhyun hoped that at least the giant could have a small idea of what he was talking about, since it wasn’t difficult to notice that this was as close to a conversation they had had in weeks and the fact that his boyfriend hadn’t figured that out it broke his little heart even more, as if he weren’t important enough for his boyfriend.

“Chanyeol, do you realize that you haven’t given me any attention lately? Haven’t you noticed that you no longer even look at me when you're at home because all you do is keep an eye on that stupid cellphone of yours? What is so important to the point of forgetting about me? Who are you texting all the time, huh? Tell me, Chanyeol! Who became more important than me in your life?!” He exclaimed furious all of a sudden. Baekhyun didn’t want to act like this right now, didn’t want to yell at the other guy either, but he couldn’t help himself after all he had suffered from the indifference of the man he loved, it was natural to react in this manner and he knew it, yet even so he felt a little bad about yelling.

“Since you came from that interview you haven’t been the same. You don’t look at me anymore, you don’t talk to me about your day as you did before, you no longer kiss me … and you don’t even notice my presence. You are so focused on your little world that you don’t realize the pain you inflict in me every time you ignore me so cruelly.” He looked down and added sadly. “It hurts, Channie.”

Chanyeol’s heart shrank in pain upon hearing those words, but mostly it pained him to see how vulnerable his boyfriend looked at the moment. The guy who was always smiling, the guy who always proved to be strong and positive now looked smaller, younger and terribly lonely, like a small child suffering from the adversities of a cold and cruel world. It was a sight that the giant certainly didn’t want to see either now or ever. Nevertheless, he was also upset, totally disappointed in himself, because now that he thought about what his boyfriend had told him he realized that the latter was totally right; Chanyeol had been carried away by the illusions of his childhood and past life, making him neglect his own lover. He was so focused on recovering what he had lost with Kyungsoo that he hadn’t realized he was losing precious time with his cute puppy. He was behaving like an insensitive jerk and _that,_ he couldn’t stand it. Because here, in front of him, was his hopeless boyfriend demanding answers for his insensitive behavior, looking incredibly exposed and hurt. Chanyeol couldn’t believe he was stupid enough to forget about his baby boy, like seriously. Even worse, he couldn’t believe he had privileged his time with Kyungsoo at the expense of the valuable time with his Baekhyun, because no matter what, the latter always had to come first for him.

The truth was that in the last seven weeks the giant had been hanging out and spending his free time with his former lover. They had been catching up in every way, almost patching up their lost friendship. Chanyeol knew that maybe this wasn’t the best of decisions taking into account his illicit feelings for his ex, but his intention wasn’t to go beyond a platonic friendship. Maybe his heart still had a place for him, but the giant had no intention of going back to him, he just wanted to stop missing him, he just wanted his company to fill at least a little bit that small hole in his heart. In fact Chanyeol often talked about Baekhyun with Kyungsoo. The actuary constantly told him about what a good cook his boyfriend was, of how kind he was, how cute he was, how much he meant to him and things like that. The taller always tried to involve Baekhyun somehow into the conversation with the sole purpose to make his lost friend understand that nothing was going to happen between them, and he wanted to keep it just like that. Besides fooling around wasn’t included in his dictionary, Chanyeol would never cheat on his boyfriend, especially when he himself hated people who did that kind of thing, so he didn’t want to be one of them anytime soon. The tall guy was just making up for the lost time with his former best friend and he really thought so, convincing himself that the flirtatious glances that Kyungsoo gave him whenever the latter had the chance were only his own imagination and that the small boy understood perfectly the nature of their relationship.

Clearly Chanyeol was content with what life had planned for him so far, and having encountered with Kyungsoo made him happy, because finally the giant could get the explanation he desired so much, the little guy finally explained to him in detail why he had gone abroad at the age of eighteen. Kyungsoo had been forced by his parents to leave his best friend behind, they had forced him to leave the country in an attempt to keep him away from the sinful relationship he shared with the giant, since Kyungsoo’s parents didn’t agree with the sexual orientation of their only child, so for them the only option was precisely separate him from the person who derailed him from the right path. And the smaller also explained why he had been cold and distant during their farewell, it turned out that he thought that if he didn’t do it like that he wouldn’t have the strength to finally leave. Needless to say that when the taller heard the real reason behind his best friend's departure a tremendous weight disappeared from his heart. Now he felt he could be at peace, and according to him it was fair to give their friendship a chance, because after all Kyungsoo had been _above all_ his best friend, his only friend actually, therefore he couldn’t pass this opportunity to fix everything. However, he hadn’t realized that the happiness he was feeling had been at the expense of the happiness of his own boyfriend and because of that he felt really bad. Chanyeol never meant to hurt him, that was the last thing he wanted to do but his bliss had blinded him so much that he hadn’t realized what was happening with his boyfriend. It wasn’t fair to Baekhyun, not at all.

The giant was quick to wrap his boyfriend protectively between his arms again, holding him as if his life depended on it, giving him the warmth and appreciation that he hadn’t given him in weeks. But the blond-haired boy didn’t return the hug this time, he only remained motionless, which only made the taller feel guiltier. He squeezed him and pressed him against his chest as he positioned his head in the crook of Baekhyun’s neck, and he couldn’t help kissing the delicious skin of his lover, realizing at that moment that he hadn’t felt that smooth surface against his lips for a while now.

“I'm sorry, love. I’m so sorry. I'm sorry for having hurt you, I’ll never do it again. I promise.” He whispered apologetically against his skin, still kissing his neck. “Please, don’t be sad anymore.”

The smaller male could feel the sincerity in those words, but even so he wasn’t satisfied, clearly an apology didn’t help to understand much and even less when solving this whole matter. They had to talk about it, like _really_ talk about it. Nevertheless, he welcomed gladly the apology of his man, after all he knew that Chanyeol was really sincere.

Baekhyun pulled away from the embrace gently to see his face with seriousness written all over his face. “I accept your apology, Chanyeol. But you have to tell me what is happening, and you cannot keep avoiding the subject. You know you can always trust me because I'll never judge you. You used to tell me everything, but now we hardly talk, do you no longer trust me?” He asked with concern in his voice.

The tall guy shook his head fervently, because that was not true. He had hidden his outings with Kyungsoo because he was afraid of the reaction of his boyfriend. He didn’t want him to think that he intended to get back with his former lover, not wanting to make him feel insecure about it. But the male failed to notice that keep him in the dark would only make him feel more vulnerable and lost. Hence he was willing to work things out; he was going to tell him everything, besides he didn’t have much to hide anyways.

Chanyeol grabbed his small and delicate hands carefully and brought them close to his mouth to kiss them gently. Gesture that softened Baekhyun’s expression instantly, making him smile slightly at the sincere display of affection. Then the giant looked into his eyes intensely, still kissing those soft and beautiful hands.

“You're the only person in whom I trust unconditionally, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol stated heavily brushing his lips against his knuckles.

The other boy blushed slightly since the intensity emanating from the giant was suffocating him, especially now that he received his attention after weeks of being ignored, besides he had almost forgotten the way in which his boyfriend used to stare at him. Yet he put aside his sudden shyness and focused again on the main subject.

“Then why? Why did you ignore me when I asked you what was wrong with you? Why did you stop talking to me so suddenly?” He inquired softly.

The black-haired male sighed, and after giving one last kiss on each hand he placed them in the place in which he had found them. “Alright, it's a long story, so I'll try to summarize everything. Please keep an open mind and trust me, okay? And promise me that you won’t interrupt until I finish the whole story, deal?” He said with an arched eyebrow, eyeing his boyfriend warily. And when he received a determined nod in response from the smaller the giant continued with his explanation. “Well, I think you may have noticed that everything began the day I had my first job interview. On my way home I met ... Kyungsoo,” The taller could see how Baekhyun stiffened upon hearing that name after so many years, but made no move to interrupt, so he continued, “At first I tried to remain indifferent to let him know that I didn’t want to associate myself with him once again after all he did to me, but he gave me his number and I accepted it. Eventually I asked him out to catch up and since then we have been hanging out constantly. But I swear that nothing happened between us! We are only friends!” He hastened to add when he saw the startled expression on the other’s face.

Baekhyun was shocked and very alarmed, and he had every reason to be. He couldn’t believe that all this was happening, it was too surreal and reckless what Chanyeol was doing and the puppy felt utterly incredulous at the foolishness of his boyfriend. But he also felt extremely hurt, because now he knew he had prioritized Kyungsoo instead of his own partner. Chanyeol had ignored him because he was so busy putting all his attention on his former lover and that obviously made him feel insecure. Of course, the giant said that nothing was happening between them, but that was very debatable, after all the taller had forgotten about Baekhyun by the mere fact of keeping in touch with his ex and that said a lot. Perhaps – effectively – Chanyeol wasn’t cheating literally, but he was blinded by Kyungsoo’s company to the point of forgetting his own boyfriend and that – for the blond-haired boy – was enough to suspect that something was really happening with his giant. He was always aware that Chanyeol had an unfinished business with his former lover; he knew it from the beginning because Chanyeol told him everything, so he knew that he still felt something for the other guy. However, he never thought Kyungsoo would return to ruin everything Baekhyun had built with his love, much less so abruptly soon. The petite male wasn’t prepared for this, but certainly he wasn’t going to let this destroy him, because after all this is what would determine his future with his boyfriend. This would determine everything and it was going to happen sooner or later, so he had to trust that everything would be fine. This was a sort of test that their relationship had to suffer to finally get the happily ever after. This will allow Baekhyun to see if his boyfriend was prepared to give him all his heart from now on or if he really couldn’t through any means move on from the past.

“Ok, let me get this straight,” The blond-haired male started to say with a collected and calm tone of voice, without showing how truly alarmed and concerned he was about this whole situation, “You've been ignoring me all these weeks because your mind was only focused on one person which would happen to be your ex-boyfriend, and let me ask you … Am I the only one who thinks there is something wrong in all this? How do you think I feel now knowing that you've been seeing your ex-boyfriend behind my back, Chanyeol? Because there are enough reasons to misunderstand this.” He said as calmly as he could.

“Look, I know it sounds bad and yes, it's my fault for not telling you from the beginning, but you have to trust me, baby boy. I love you and I'm not cheating on you with him, I swear, I just want to get back the friendship we lost. Besides it turns out that everything was a misunderstanding, he didn’t leave me because he no longer cared about me; it was because his parents forced him to end our relationship.” He explained softly, hoping to ease the possible uncertainties that could arise in his boyfriend from this somewhat unorthodox situation.

The puppy looked at him with eyes full of uncertainty, he was lost and didn’t know how to digest and understand his boyfriend’s intentions. He wasn’t sure if he could accept this fully, since he still felt uncomfortable and unsure about all of this, which was totally normal, anyone in his position would feel like this. And again, the smaller still couldn’t get out of his head the fact that Chanyeol had been forgotten about him because of Kyungsoo, it was simply very alarming. He knew he had to be careful from now on, but didn’t want to be paranoid all the freaking time. Furthermore, he couldn’t forget that Chanyeol had to face the past sooner or later. He didn’t want to distrust the love of his life, but everything indicated that he had to test him in some way, and for that Baekhyun had to pretend to agree with these meetings between the giant and his first love. But leaving all that aside and to find the bright side to all this, at least now the puppy knew the reason behind his lover’s nonchalance, at least he knew with what he was dealing with and at least Chanyeol had confessed it.

When the giant immersed himself into Baekhyun’s eyes he realized that his boyfriend felt really uncomfortable and he could understand that obviously, in fact the puppy had every right to get angry and even forbid him from seeing the other boy. And if that were the case the taller would obey without hesitation, because he didn’t want to lose Baekhyun, it was the last thing he wanted and if he had to eliminate Kyungsoo of his life he would do it. It would be difficult to do so and he would feel somewhat empty after saying goodbye to him for a second time, but the giant was willing to do it for his special someone.

“Baek, I'll do whatever you want me to do. If you want me to stop seeing him I will do it.” The giant declared solemnly.

The puppy-like boy studied his expression carefully and knew his boyfriend was dead serious; he was being sincere and knew he would keep his word. And he was tempted to tell him to move away for good from the grasp of Kyungsoo, but the smaller could not be selfish and ignore the giant's feelings, for better or worse it was in his nature to always think about others’ feelings before his own and he could tell that Chanyeol was really happy to see his best friend again and who was Baekhyun to deny him that happiness?

“Okay, you can keep your friendship with him.” He said after sighing in resignation. “But I have some conditions.” Added quickly.

The black-haired boy smiled from ear to ear as he nodded eagerly.

“You cannot keep ignoring me, please. I don’t want him to become your priority. I don’t want to see you texting him all the time as if I weren’t there. I don’t want you to cancel our dates to go out with him instead. I don’t want you to spend so much time with him as you have been doing so far. And above all …just keep loving me. Kiss me, touch me. Don’t just forget me, Channie.” He said sheepishly, playing nervously with his dainty fingers.

Chanyeol immediately wrapped his arms around his boyfriend once again and pulled him into his lap, holding him tightly against his chest, not wanting to let him go. The guilt rose to another level upon hearing the desperation that hid behind those words, filling the giant’s heart with sorrow and anguish, unable to believe he had neglected his boyfriend so ruthlessly, especially now that he could tell how much it had affected his baby boy. Definitely he never was going to do something like this again.

“Oh my God, you're so lovely. I promise not to hurt you again, love. I love you so much. You're the best boyfriend in the world. No one can compare to my puppy.” He muttered squeezing him with apprehension.

The smaller male snuggled against his giant’s chest to enjoy the warmth that he had missed so much the last few weeks, wanting to feel in this so cherished way forever.

“You only say that because I pamper you too much.” The blond-haired boy commented with a lopsided grin, but Chanyeol couldn’t see it because the puppy had his face buried in his broad chest.

“No, I say it because it's true, Baek. You know, all my friends think I'm a lucky bastard to have you as my boyfriend, especially Kris.” He stroked his blond hair slowly.

Baekhyun raised his head and looked into his boyfriend’s eyes with surprise written all over his face. “What? Kris? But I thought he disliked me, he’s always so mean to me.” He whined frowning cutely, making Chanyeol smile sweetly at that lovely view.

The tall guy chuckled softly. “He is only pretending, because I know that Kris has a very good impression of you. He just wants to keep his distance, you know that he doesn’t like to socialize much with people.” He said nuzzling his baby boy’s soft cheek with the tip of his nose. “Even that stupid Chen, he has confessed to me that he has a crush on you … that bastard.”

“Chen likes me?! Really?” The other inquired with a happy smile.

The tall guy studied the face of his radiant lover and frowned somewhat annoyed, not understanding why his boyfriend looked so happy to hear that. “Yah, what does it mean that smile? Do you have a thing for Chen?” He asked with jealously, unamused by the situation.

The petite boy giggled softly, aware of his jealousy. “Well, to be honest it’s good to feel wanted once in a while, you know.” He said with a shrug. “Especially now that my boyfriend hasn’t given me any attention lately.” He added in a low voice as he looked down shyly, but his boyfriend was able to hear it.

And just like that the guilt came again. “Hey, baby boy. Look at me.” He ordered gently. Baekhyun complied immediately, looking at him with innocent eyes and because of that Chanyeol’s heart melted with love. “I know I made a mistake by focusing too much on Kyungsoo, but I was excited to have found him after so long. But you're my boyfriend, love, and from now on I will put your needs before everything else because you are beautiful, sweet, amazing and you simply deserve the best. You, my cute and lovely Baekhyun, deserve the world.” He kissed him on the forehead, then on both cheeks and finally gave him a peck on the lips.

The blond-haired boy giggled, satisfied and happy with the response of his man, who always knew what to say to make him feel like a teenager in love all over again. “You’re such a sweet talker, Channie.” He said grinning widely while he caressed the other’s chest absently, not realizing that it was turning his boyfriend on, especially now the smaller was looking all cute and tempting all of a sudden.

“Just for you, love.” He leaned towards the smaller promptly to kiss his ear sensually. “It’s been a while since the last time I feel you, right?” He whispered descending to his jaw, kissing and nibbling it playfully.

The petite boy sighed in pleasure, cocking his head to expose his delicate and tender neck as he gripped his boyfriend's shoulders for support. Chanyeol wasted no time and filled with kisses the surface that was within his reach. “I'll make you feel good, baby boy.” He mumbled between kisses, tightening his grip on the other’s slim waist. “I'll make you scream my name, love. You want that?”

“Yeah, I want you, Chanyeol.” He moaned softly. “Make love to me.” He whispered enjoying every kiss, every nibble, and every lick that his boyfriend deposited in his skin.

Thereby Chanyeol made him wrap his limbs around his body and in this position he stood up, holding his lover firmly to go to their bedroom, still kissing his neck. Once they reached the room the tall guy threw his boyfriend into the bed immediately, unable to wait any longer, since only now he realized how much he had missed his Baekhyun’s warmth, his touch. And finally after weeks without feeling each other the two could satisfy the desire they had for the other, making up for the time they had lost so far.

*.*

“Come on! Give me just another one, just one! Don’t be mean!” The tall guy whined with a pronounced pout.

The smaller male just giggled while shaking his head cutely, trying to get away from his childish boyfriend, but it was impossible to do so when the giant had an arm around his small frame keeping him against his side firmly, not wanting to give in. It was an uncomfortable position to walk for Baekhyun, but Chanyeol had insisted, claiming that he wanted to shower him with affection and pampering to compensate him after all he had put him through, so the blond-haired boy had no choice but to just let him be. Besides the petite boy didn’t exactly hate this position, but – apart from the small discomfort that it implied – he felt slightly uneasy showing so much affection in public, because people weren’t discreet when they criticized the cute but politically incorrect couple between whispers. Yet Chanyeol didn’t seem to mind about it, since he kept kissing and nuzzling the head of the puppy whenever he felt like it, without being afraid to show the world that this beautiful boy was his.

“Come on! I'm just asking for a kiss, Baekhyun!” He complained again, scowling like a spoiled child.

“I’m sorry, Channie, but we are in public after all.” He apologized wholeheartedly with a small smile, looking up at him apologetically with those innocent droopy eyes of his.

The black-haired boy growled immediately, totally dissatisfied for his reply. “You cannot expect me not to kiss you after looking at me like that, Baek. You know I cannot resist you,” He said leaning in to kiss him on the forehead without waiting for his permission, “So stop being all cute and adorable.”

“What?” The smaller said giggling, looking at his tall boyfriend amused. “I’m not being cute. You just have a distorted eyesight.”

“No way! You are just cute all the time! Now let me kiss you.” The taller said getting closer to the face of the puppy to try to kiss him, but Baekhyun refused to give in so he put his hands on Chanyeol’s face to push him away as he giggled joyfully. “Channie, stop it!” Said between laughs.

And after a few seconds Chanyeol simply gave up. “You are no fun, baby boy. What is a date without kisses?” He whined to himself, frowning as he looked towards the front.

Just as Chanyeol had promised he started to focus again on his lover vehemently, leaving in the background the whole ex thingy. He still hanged out with Kyungsoo every now and then, but not as frequent as it had been at the beginning, and the taller no longer texted him obsessively as he had done it before, in fact Kyungsoo now was lucky if he received a message from the giant once per week. All his attention and care was fixed in his puppy as it should be and with this new balance the tall guy felt happier than before, considering that he could enjoy Kyungsoo’s friendship without neglecting his lover. Obviously Chanyeol wasn’t the only one happy about this change because naturally Baekhyun was too, feeling really ecstatic to have his boyfriend back. And thanks to this change the petite boy had high expectations about the future of their relationship, after all so far the giant had shown to be repentant for what had happened and that he was more than willing to stay with Baekhyun, so at least for now the puppy was relieved.

After walking aimlessly for a few more minutes they came upon a local of Starbucks and deciding that they deserved a proper rest after walking for most of the afternoon, both entered the premises immediately. The place was packed with people, which was understandable being a Saturday afternoon, so the queue was relatively long, but that didn’t stop them, especially Baekhyun, who was a fan of the frappuccinos of the famous brand. As they waited in the queue Chanyeol decided to make himself comfortable, how? Back hugging his small boyfriend and resting his chin on the other’s shoulder, snuggling his face against the crook of his neck comfortably, as if they weren’t in public at all. The blond-haired boy stiffened instantly, aware of the accusatory looks they were getting, so he placed his hands over the giant’s and tried to pull away from the other’s embrace, but the taller only responded by squeezing him tightly refusing to let him go, besides the latter was very comfortable and he could smell perfectly his boyfriend’s scent, so he had no intention to change positions anytime soon.

Baekhyun sighed resignedly with a small smile on his face. “What I’m going to do with you, big baby.” He said patting the hands that were wrapped around his waist.

“Just let me be, baby boy.” He gave him a short but sweet kiss on the cheek.

And just like this Chanyeol dedicated to flirt with his boyfriend – enjoying way too much Baekhyun’s shy reactions by the way – until finally it was their turn to order. As expected Baekhyun chose Caramel Frappuccino while the giant chose black coffee, now they only needed to wait to hear their names aloud once their orders were ready.

“Chanyeol.” The blond-haired boy called his boyfriend all of a sudden after being in silent for a few seconds while they waited for their orders. The giant immediately looked at him, waiting for him to say something. But Baekhyun just looked back at him without saying anything, not knowing whether to tell him the news he had to share or not, eventually he would have to do it but he didn’t know when exactly. Now it seemed a good time to do it actually, but the petite guy didn’t have the courage to tell him the news just yet. He had been trying to tell him all day long, but every time he was about to do so he chickened out and kept silent pathetically.

“What’s wrong, Baek?” The actuary asked him upon seeing hesitation in the eyes of the puppy, and to try to calm the man somehow the taller put his hand on one of his cheek to caress it gently, hoping to encourage him to speak at ease.

“Well, actually I have something important to tell you.” He announced nervously.

The giant nodded, waiting for his puppy to continue, but all he got was silence. He studied Baekhyun’s face carefully trying to decipher his expression, wanting to know where it came from so much nervousness and indecision, but when the blond-haired boy noticed the intense gaze that was fixed in his face he immediately smiled at Chanyeol to dispel the latter’s concerns.

“You can tell me anything, Baek.” The giant finally said, still stroking his lover’s soft cheek.

“I know. I'll tell you in another time, okay? I have to order my thoughts yet. I just wanted to inform you so you can be prepared when the times comes, you know.” He said stroking the hand that rested on his right cheek. Clearly this wasn’t what he wanted to say, since he really hoped to have the courage to tell him this time around, but maybe it wasn’t the right time yet.

“It’s alright. Tell me when you’re ready.” He grinned sweetly as he leaned down to kiss his boyfriend’s forehead gently.

Just at that moment something disrupted the environment that they had created between the two, entering abruptly and almost rudely inside their bubble. The thing that brought them back to reality was a happy exclamation accompanied by a familiar voice – at least for Chanyeol, that is – making them look in the direction where the voice had come from. Both had different reactions upon seeing the person who approached them with a huge smile on his cute little face; while Chanyeol smiled back happily, Baekhyun’s expression reflected pure confusion since never in his life he had seen this guy. Everything indicated that it was Chanyeol’s acquaintance by the way the latter interacted with the newcomer. But when the puppy saw the way in which Chanyeol smiled at the other boy and the way in which the latter looked at his boyfriend he figured everything out rather quickly, it wasn’t that hard to guess anyways, not when he could see hearts in the eyes of the newcomer. And at this discovery the petite boy couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable and out of place, it was obvious that his boyfriend and the other guy had good chemistry, at least that would explain why those two seemed to have forgotten about his own presence. However, Baekhyun didn’t intend to intervene and act as a jealous and possessive boyfriend, it wasn’t part of his personality to do something like that, besides – as he decided the day he confronted Chanyeol about Kyungsoo – the male wanted to test his lover’s loyalty and for that he had to let everything flow naturally and if it meant staying out of their way as he watched pathetically how his boyfriend and his former lover interacted happily, he would do it without hesitation. Perhaps it sounded cruel to test his own lover and some could even accuse him of distrust the giant, but it was necessary, it really was.

“Oh, Kyungsoo, let me introduce you my boyfriend.” Chanyeol said suddenly, putting an arm around his boyfriend’s shoulders to bring him closer to his body, finally remembering Baekhyun’s presence, who simply smiled when he made eye contact with Kyungsoo.

Yet Kyungsoo’s expression didn’t look too good at the moment, because although he had a small smile on his face the blond-haired boy could tell that he was really uncomfortable to meet the current boyfriend of his ex-lover, which Baekhyun could obviously understand finding himself in the same situation, but clearly the puppy-like boy was handling it much better than Kyungsoo.

“Hello, nice to meet you, Baekhyun. Chanyeol talks about you all the time, I feel like I know you already.” He said with a forced smile, but maintaining a friendly attitude.

“Nice to meet you too, Kyungsoo. I’ve heard a lot of you too.” The blond-haired boy said politely, with a small smile.

After that there was an awkward silence, even Chanyeol was beginning to feel uneasy, but this wouldn’t discourage him at all. The black-haired boy had a plan, maybe somewhat stupid and naive, but he really wanted them to get along. Obviously he understood the implications of all this, but if the taller wanted to dispel the doubts and possible insecurities of Baekhyun he had to do this for the sake of their relationship. Also in the process he would define an explicit limit with Kyungsoo, giving him to understand that the only thing that united them right now was a friendship. Because during all these years the giant hadn’t only missed their former relationship but also their friendship, after all they were best friends first and for Chanyeol it was worth to recover that. Nevertheless, he knew that he had to include his puppy-like boyfriend in all this, since he couldn’t forget once again that Baekhyun was his main priority no matter what and he didn’t intent to forget it anytime soon. Maybe the taller had a spot in his heart reserved just for Kyungsoo, he had to be honest with himself and yes, he did feel something for the latter, but after talking and spending time with him all over again made him realize that his feelings for him weren’t as intense as he had thought. Did he still feel attracted to him? Yes. Was he still interested in him? Yes. Was he still in love with him as he thought all this time? No and he could say it with certainty, because the _sensations_ he experienced when he saw Kyungsoo couldn’t be compared to the _feelings_ he experienced when he was with his Baekhyun. Fact that made Chanyeol very happy actually. Finally, after years of being in a state of denial – because that was what it was really, now he was aware of that – he could say loud and clear that he loved his baby boy intensely and irrevocably. But unfortunately there was still a strange feeling inside of him that wasn’t quite right and the tall guy didn’t know what it was exactly.

“Chanyeol! Baekhyun!” A female voice yelled out suddenly.

Chanyeol was the first one to react, so he went in search of their orders quickly, leaving his boyfriend and ex-lover all alone. And if it had been uncomfortable before now the situation was almost unbearable without the presence of the giant. But Baekhyun wouldn’t have any of that and certainly he didn’t want to feel so much tension in the air, so he decided to ease even a little bit the atmosphere.

“So, what do you do, Kyungsoo?” He inquired out of nowhere with a polite smile, trying to make conversation and save the situation.

The other boy smiled grimly. “Look, you don’t have to pretend that you like me. I guess you already know about the relationship I had with Chanyeol in the past and I can understand your contempt for me, but please don’t ask me to stay away from him.” He hastened to say desperately, looking at Baekhyun with defeated and suffered eyes.

The blond-haired boy opened his eyes wide open, surprised by the turn of the conversation, since he didn’t expect to talk about that sensitive topic this soon and much less in the first meeting. He studied the other boy's face and when he made sure that he wasn’t dreaming and that Kyungsoo had actually said what he said the puppy's face softened noticeably.

“You shouldn’t judge me so quickly, Kyungsoo. We just met.” He said softly with a genuine smile on his face. “I don’t hate you and I don’t want you to stay away from Chanyeol, because that’s for him to decide after all. I know what happened between you and my boyfriend, he told me everything from the beginning. I respect what you two had back then, because I know it meant a lot to Chanyeol and I know that he loved you so very much. But you weren’t there to pick up the broken pieces, Kyungsoo. You weren’t there when his heart needed to be fixed, I was. When he most needed support I was there for him, always. I don’t want to jump to conclusions and I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, I just want to say that I was for Chanyeol at his worst. And thanks to that I can now say that I own a big part of his heart. I know it's hard for him to completely forget about you and he still has to make a decision, he still has to choose what he wants and I'll be there waiting for him because I trusted in my boyfriend even though sometimes I can succumb to my insecurities.” Baekhyun said solemnly, with a soft and gentle voice.

Kyungsoo was stunned, because he certainly hadn’t expected to hear a speech like that. “W-Why are you telling me this?” He stuttered dumbfounded, not knowing exactly how to react to this.

“Because I know that you still love him. I can see it in the way you look at him, it is quite obvious to be honest.” He answered with a condescending smile. “And it's okay. I understand it can be pretty hard to forget about someone special. Yet I want you to know that I’m his boyfriend, he’s with me now and you have to understand that. I respect your position in Chanyeol’s life so I expect the same respect from you.” He said kindly.

The other guy stared at Baekhyun attentively, wanting to detect some lie or falsehood emanating from him, but the only thing he could find was an understanding and honest boy, who was crazily in love with his boyfriend. Kyungsoo couldn’t believe it and before he could say anything else, the giant appeared with a huge smile on his face while holding his coffee in his right hand and his boyfriend’s frappuccino in the other. The giant positioned himself immediately next to his puppy and handed him his order.

At that moment Kyungsoo took the time to study the couple carefully, wanting to convince himself that maybe he still had a chance to win back his ex. The small guy, with big curious eyes, watched the way in which Chanyeol smiled at his blond-haired boyfriend with sweetness or the way in which he gazed at him as if he were the only person in the universe or the way in which he smiled ever so brightly in the other’s presence; a genuine and beautiful smile that could light up a whole room. Kyungsoo could see in his eyes, his gestures and in his attitude that Chanyeol was madly in love with his boyfriend and that fact saddened him too much. It was as if Baekhyun was snatching away the love and attention of the giant and Kyungsoo really felt the loss. But he had no right to feel like that anymore, right? Chanyeol no longer belonged with him, however this didn’t comforted him nor in the least, quite the opposite in fact.

“Well, Soo. Maybe I’ll text you tomorrow to watch that movie that we wanted to see the other day, but now I have a date with my baby boy.” Chanyeol told him as he wrapped Baekhyun’s waist protectively. “See you around?” Said looking at his friend with a smile.

Kyungsoo just nodded absently, too overwhelmed by his sudden revelation to pretend that he was okay with all this. And after bidding goodbye the two lovebirds left the place, both with a smile on their faces. The small guy just stood in the middle of the place. His coffee was still waiting on his table and his notebook lay inert waiting to be used, but Kyungsoo couldn’t move from his place. He was disappointed and discouraged, because at that moment he realized that he was no competition for that cute blond-haired boy. But of course, his heart was stubborn and he didn’t want to give up yet, he just _had_ to regain Chanyeol’s love.

It turned out that Kyungsoo had kept his word, because few days later he had created a perfect plan to have his ex-boyfriend back in a subtle way, according to him of course. Plan which carried out two weeks after his first meeting with the current boyfriend of his former lover. He had called Chanyeol to ask him if they could hang out with the excuse that he was having trouble with his stressful work and needed urgently to clear his mind of so many drawbacks. Kyungsoo was a surprised when the giant accepted immediately though, since lately the latter wasn’t paying him much attention, which obviously didn’t please him at all. But his surprise was even greater when Chanyeol invited him to his place on his own initiative, apartment that shared with Baekhyun moreover, which made him feel a little bit out of place, since Kyungsoo knew that his jealousy and envy would only increase being there to see with his own eyes their love nest. But, convinced that he wouldn’t have to endure the blond-haired boy for long if his plan worked, he decided to accept the offer of his former boyfriend and go to the latter’s place. And full of confidence and determination the small guy entered the apartment smugly, ready to fight and gain Chanyeol’s love, the only man who had managed to cause such an effect on him. The giant received his friend with a huge and friendly smile, but also with slightly pink cheeks as he checked Kyungsoo out from head to toe. That flirty gesture from Chanyeol’s part only made the smaller smile in triumph, after all he had chosen his clothes very carefully only choosing the most subtly sexy clothes that he owned and it had apparently paid off the hours he had taken to do so.

“So, where is Baekhyun?” The small guy asked puzzled, since he was expecting him to show up out of nowhere at any time, but it had been long minutes since he arrived and the blond-haired boy wasn’t anywhere in sight.

Meanwhile Chanyeol was pouring beer in their glasses. Actually Chanyeol didn’t like to drink alcohol during the day, since he was used to do it only at night, but he knew that Kyungsoo was stressed and what better way to release stress that drinking a good glass of beer with friends, right?

“He’s at work and I think that his shift ends late at night, so we have all day to focus on yourself and your problems.” He said after sitting on the couch right next to his friend, leaving the bottle of beer next to their glasses.

“But it’s Sunday.” He tilted his head in confusion. Not that he were complaining anyways, because time alone with Chanyeol had become a privilege.

“Yes, I know. But my Baek has a high position in the kitchen. He’s the Sous Chef therefore he is required almost all the time so his schedule is totally messed up. And if you ask me it’s totally unfair, I mean he works so hard and they don’t even acknowledge that! Well, yes, he has the second highest position, but I really think he should be the Chef, like come on! With his dedication, hard work and natural talent he can do anything! Besides he finished his studies at an early age and that only proves that he’s super capable, and have you tasted his food? Man, he has skills I’m telling you! And I don’t give a damn if he’s too young to be the Chef, he totally can do it, after all he was the best in his generation. Like please, my baby boy is totally amazing … ” He started to babble proudly, smiling from ear to ear with only sharing with the world how amazing his beautiful boyfriend was.

But obviously certain person didn’t take it so well. Kyungsoo was witnessing reluctantly how the man he loved talked nonstop about his wonderful boyfriend with that stupid dreamy grin on his handsome face. Chanyeol was talking sweetly of a person who wasn’t him and all he wanted to do was scream in frustration, because certainly the smaller guy didn’t drive all the way to hear how perfect Baekhyun was, how hard working Baekhyun was and much less to hear again and again how much Chanyeol loved Baekhyun. Frankly Kyungsoo was already sick of hearing that name all the damn time. Not that he hated the blond-haired boy, in fact he had to agree with his ex in that sense because Baekhyun was amazing. But that didn’t deny the fact that they were now rivals – at least Kyungsoo liked to think that there was a rivalry between them, because in that way it could be considered a competition between equal parties, but deep down he knew that it wasn’t a competition – and that Kyungsoo wanted his ex-boyfriend back, and he didn’t mind hurting the other boy’s feelings at all, everything was worth it if he could be next to the giant once again.

“That’s nice.” The small guy merely said when Chanyeol had finally stopped complimenting his boyfriend. He was smiling slightly even though he was very annoyed on the inside.

Without waiting for a response from the other man and before he could continue babbling about his partner, the smaller took his glass of beer in his hand and drank all its content immediately, feeling how the bitter liquid ran down his throat leaving an itchy feeling in the process. The smaller guy didn’t expect to lose his temper this quickly, since his original intention was to have some fun with his friend and then carry out his plan, but seeing how things were going Kyungsoo knew that if he didn’t execute right away what he had planned Chanyeol would talk endlessly about Baekhyun – as the proud boyfriend he really was – and the smaller wouldn’t stand it much longer, therefore he had to be quick with his actions; the first step was drink crazily, loosen up a little bit and pretend that he was drunk. And finally having a strong resistance to alcohol came in handy.

Thus the two friends spend their time drinking, having fun and talking about life. They were having so much fun that they hadn’t realized that it was night already, although that that it wasn’t a concern for Kyungsoo, who was having the time of his life. He had drunk five glasses of beer and it was just the beginning. Chanyeol, meanwhile, had stopped drinking after his second glass, knowing that Baekhyun didn’t like seeing him drunk and of course the taller didn’t want to worry him for his carelessness. But the giant couldn’t say the same for his smaller friend, because the latter was quite high, he doubted that he could drive in that state, which was a problem for the black-haired boy because he knew that Baekhyun wouldn’t feel sincerely comfortable if Kyungsoo spent the night and much less in this state. Yet the giant also had to ensure the safety of his friend, so there was no other option – totally ignoring the fact that he could call a cab for the smaller.

“You know? I really missed you all these years, Yeol.” Kyungsoo said all of a sudden, staring at him with eyes half closed as if he was drowsy.

Chanyeol immediately stiffened upon hearing those words, sensing danger, and without thinking twice the giant replaced his relaxed and friendly posture to a rigid and almost formal one, taking care of putting some distance between the two.

“Yeah, I missed my best _friend_.” He said smiling awkwardly, making an exaggerated emphasis on “friend".

Kyungsoo looked into his eyes sadly, with an expression so devastated and destroyed that by just looking at it Chanyeol’s heart ached. However, Chanyeol wouldn’t retract his words, he wouldn’t give in just because of a pretty face and he was trying really hard to resist the urge to hug him, knowing that it could lead to something else. Therefore he only remained silent, waiting for the other guy to say something.

“Is that true, Yeol? Am I just a friend to you? Do you really think like that?” He asked with an adorable and exaggerated pout, looking at Chanyeol with an innocent look that emphasized his supposed drunken state.

The taller studied the other’s face for a few seconds and then he sighed with resignation; feeling really tired all of a sudden. He knew this would happen sooner or later, after all they hadn’t had the opportunity to talk about their feelings. The last time they _kind of_ did was when they bumped into each other the first time they saw each other and for Chanyeol that was enough to clarify certain things, but apparently his friend didn’t think the same way. Well, although the taller must take into account the fact that the other man was somewhat tipsy so he didn’t know what he was doing at the moment, so the giant decided to be patient with him.

“Kyungsoo, I have a boyfriend now, remember? I love Baekhyun.” He said firmly, but always maintaining a friendly attitude.

“I d-don’t believe you, Yeol. You're lying, I-I know you still have feelings for me. Your eyes tell me so, your smile tells me so … I k-know you are still not over me.” He muttered almost desperately with shaky and unsteady voice.

The giant was somewhat dumbfounded, without being able to believe that he had been so obvious with his feelings. Had he been so obvious that even Kyungsoo could realize about his feelings? And if that was the case he felt a little scared by that fact, after all if Kyungsoo could read beneath his mask then so did Baekhyun – who knew him like the back of his own hand – and that possibility was really scary because he didn’t want to lose what he had built with his boyfriend. Not now that he had solved – to some extent – the unfinished business he had with his former lover, coming to the conclusion that the attraction he had for Kyungsoo couldn’t compare to the love he had for his baby boy, so he felt that his place was with the puppy and not with Kyungsoo. He would have to deal with the feelings he still had for his ex until the giant could finally forget about him completely.

So, intending to continue with his facade, Chanyeol shook his head strictly. “No, Kyungsoo. Our thing ended years ago, we’re over. I got over it and now I have eyes only for my boyfriend. Stop fooling yourself, Soo. And I don’t want to talk about this ever again, understood? Now I'm just being nice because you’re drunk … You're not in your right mind now, so please just forget about this.”

Kyungsoo looked at him attentively and when he saw the determination in the giant’s face he knew that talking wouldn’t work to reach him this time, so he had to start the phase two of his plan; making physical contact. He knew that if he did that it was impossible for Chanyeol to reject him, not for being self-centered or anything like that but the smaller guy was aware of his innocent beauty and no one could deny it. Hence, getting on the couch in all four the smaller started to approach his prey, always making eye contact with the other man, who looked at him with shock written all over his face. Normally the small guy would never do something as bold as this since he was way too shy to do so, but now that the other man thought he was drunk there was nothing to fear, right?

Chanyeol – not knowing how to react to his sensual maneuver – could only go backwards until his back hit the arm of the couch, watching without doing anything how the other boy kept getting close slowly and looking all sexy and hot but always maintaining the innocence that Chanyeol believed that characterized him. The giant didn’t pull him away either when the smaller sat on his lap with his two tiny legs straddling his hips, in fact quite the opposite, he found himself resting his big hands on his waist. Kyungsoo was staring at him so intently that he was having a hard time trying to breathe properly. The taller couldn’t look away, it was as if he were hypnotized and trapped in those big brown orbs. Suddenly Chanyeol was unable to think straight and the only thing he could process was the close proximity between him and his first love, becoming aware of the fact that by just leaning forward a little bit he could capture those very plump lips between his. The tall guy was trying really hard to fight against his stupid impulses, but it was difficult when Kyungsoo was touching his chest, sliding his small hands up and down. Chanyeol knew he should stop him now, but it seemed that his mind wasn’t functioning very well and he blamed it to the alcohol since if his friend hadn’t drunk more that he could tolerate they wouldn’t be in this horrible situation – that was at least what his naive mind was thinking.

“Stop. We cannot do this. Get off me right now, Kyungsoo.” The giant muttered, and despite his words he didn’t let go of the smaller, tightening the grip he had on his waist. He blamed the alcohol for that once again.

Just at that moment the guy who was on the giant’s lap grinned lazily with half-closed eyes, pretending drunkenness. Then, taking his time, Kyungsoo leaned in just enough to rest his forehead against Chanyeol’s. “I know you also want this, Yeol. Do you underestimate me that much? Do you think I'm stupid? I know you love me and you're dying to take me back. I’m aware of all your lies, I know that when you say you don’t love me you're just lying shamelessly. And if you insist on denying it then why you still have the tie I gave you years ago, huh? You were using it the day we met for the first time in years and oh dear, you looked so handsome and hot in that suit, Yeol. You know what? I never stopped loving you, every day I thought of you, in your smile, in your eyes, in your hands, in your laughter … I never liked someone else, I was completely faithful to my feelings for you. When I had the opportunity to return to Korea I did it immediately with the illusion that you would be waiting for me even without knowing the truth, because I hoped that you were going to trust me no matter what I told you back then. And do you know how I felt when you told me you already had a boyfriend? Do you know the pain I felt when I realized that you no longer were mine but someone else’s? No, you don’t fucking know, Chanyeol. You don’t know how much I suffer every time you talk about that guy in my presence … You don’t know how much it hurts dammit! You belong with me, Yeol. Just open your eyes! You're with him just to fill the void that I left in your heart. So you don’t have to keep running away from me, now I'm here and we can be together again. You love me and you just need a little incentive to remind you all those feelings that you have sunk into that heart of yours.” The smaller finished saying with teary eyes and throat tightened while his breath crashed into the parted lips of the giant, who had heard his speech with disbelief and amazement, totally ignoring the eloquence with which the smaller guy had said those words, eloquence which wasn’t normal or at least common in people who were drunk. At that point Chanyeol had almost stopped thinking actually.

The giant would be lying if he said that he didn’t feel absolutely anything upon hearing that confession, because the truth was that he did feel something. He felt sadness, grief for everything that his former lover went through knowing very well what it meant to suffer for love, God only knew how much Chanyeol suffered at the beginning and if he hadn’t met Baekhyun perhaps he would be lost in misery right now. The taller also pitied him, because he knew that there was nothing to do about it, didn’t know how to help his friend because he had nothing to offer him anymore. And lastly he felt a little relieved by the fact of knowing that despite all these years Kyungsoo still loved him and maybe it was selfish to think that way when the taller already had someone else in his heart, but the male couldn’t help it, because with this he couldn’t help but think that at least all the suffering he had endured hadn’t been completely in vain somehow.

“Kiss me, Chanyeol. Please kiss me.” He pleaded with eyes full of pain and despair.

The giant only stared at the smaller expressionless, with a look that couldn’t be read and Kyungsoo was anxious and a little bit scared as well, because he didn’t want him to go back to his senses to finally realize what was going on. Therefore, taking advantage of the circumstances, he just crushed his lips against the giant’s aggressively and without wasting any more time the smaller moved his lips desperately, trying to make the taller move too, but the latter was unresponsive. Obviously that wasn’t a problem for Kyungsoo, who just kept abusing the lips of his lost love vehemently, with energy, with _love_. Suddenly, Chanyeol started kissing him back sheepishly, with guilt and tears in his eyes; tears that ran down his cheeks as he closed eyes to receive the sinful kiss. The actuary wasn’t crying because of the familiarity he felt after so many years. No. Chanyeol was crying because the only thing he could picture in his mind was Baekhyun, always smiling, caring and loving, staring at him with those droopy eyes full of love and sweetness. He was crying because he was betraying his lover. He was crying because he was unable to stop all this nonsense. He was crying because of the broken promises that he himself had made in first place.

I’m sorry, my love, thought the giant bitterly.

Everything happened very fast. Kyungsoo was still on his lap, but now he was semi-naked, showing his – now _marked_ – chest in all its glory, just like Chanyeol. They were both breathing heavily, sharing the same air they breathed by being so incredibly close to each other, each time Kyungsoo exhaled the actuary could taste the latter’s breath on his mouth and then the smaller guy would kiss the other man again desperately, nibbling and licking every centimeter of his ex’s mouth, loving the way in which the taller whimpered in pleasure. And they were so intoxicated with lust that they didn’t hear the sound of the opening of the entrance door nor did they hear the sound of footsteps heading precisely towards the living room, and as expected they didn’t hear either the sound of an astonished gasp.

The blond-haired boy just stood there at the entrance to the living room with a heavy and _very_ hurt heart, watching with an inexplicable pain how the two – shirtless – individuals on the couch devoured each other’s faces with fervor and lust. Baekhyun was too stunned to say or do something. The puppy felt smaller than usual and very insignificant too, because he was there standing in front of them and they were not even aware of his presence and Baekhyun had to keep on hearing those filthy and lustful sounds that both were doing when they touched the skin of the other. He couldn’t endure it any longer, his heart was hurting too damn much and the tears had emerged from his eyes without him noticing. Chanyeol was kissing, touching and loving another person who wasn’t Baekhyun and that was a fact that the latter couldn’t conceive nor accept.

“C-Chanyeol.” He whispered in a broken voice, sobbing pathetically without taking his eyes off that hideous scene, watching everything with a deception that ate him from the inside. God, he was so disappointed.

It was barely a whisper, but it was enough for the two men to stop what they were doing to look in the direction of where such broken and painful sound had come from. When Chanyeol saw his boyfriend standing there with such a defeated and pained expression he shook off the boy he was on top of him, causing him to fall loudly and painfully into the ground, but the giant didn’t care nor in the least, he was just focused on one person.

On the other hand Kyungsoo found himself smiling in victory furtively, without paying attention to the pain he started to feel in his butt for being shoved to the ground that aggressively, after all he was too happy for being able to execute the stage three of his plan before he had expected; show Baekhyun what he was capable of to regain the love of his life.

“B-Baekhyun! This is not what it looks like.” The giant hastened to say, standing up rapidly to move closer to his boyfriend. It broke his heart when he realized that for every step he took toward him the puppy backed away another one. So the giant just stayed still.

“P-Please don’t say that, Chanyeol, because it’s precisely what it seems. You were cheating on me with your ex-boyfriend, that's the truth.” He muttered totally destroyed, without strength in his voice. And in spite of all he still talked calmly and gently, and Chanyeol found it really endearing.

“Baekhyun, please let me explain everything.” He said helplessly while he tried to approach the blond-haired boy once again, but the latter stepped back just as the first time. “Love, please.” The taller pleaded with a lump in his throat. Chanyeol didn’t know what the hell he was going to say nor did he know how he was going to explain all of this. But that didn’t matter because the giant wanted to say something, anything that could make his boyfriend stay. He couldn’t lose him … he just _couldn’t_.

Baekhyun looked into his boyfriend’s eyes with the most devastating look Chanyeol had ever seen and just then he knew he had really ruined everything. He had really hurt him and just by thinking about that the giant felt like crying, but he didn’t have the right to do so, much less in front of the real victim.

“Listen, I know I screwed it up. Baekhyun, I know I'm the biggest bastard and I probably don’t deserve a guy like you, but please believe me when I say how much I love you. And please, stop crying, it breaks my heart.” He muttered trying to hold back his own tears knowing that he was in no position to show his own pain and regret.

“C-Channie…” The blond-haired boy whispered in that sweet and sincere voice that filled Chanyeol’s heart with pure love, especially when he heard his nickname coming out of Baekhyun’s cute little mouth, giving him hope that perhaps this could be discussed and solved. Yet when the taller heard the following words he could almost hear the sound of his heart cracking with each syllable. “Let’s break up.” The puppy said with a sad little smile, still with tear running down his slightly chubby cheeks.

 


	3. Chapter 3

There was an absolute silence; a silence full of uncertainties and regrets. The atmosphere had turned heavy and daunting, so much that it was difficult for those present to breathe easily. However, the most affected by the weight of reality was undoubtedly Chanyeol, who still had problems to assimilate what was happening. He felt numb, as if this were a scary dream, because there was no way that Baekhyun could have said those words for real. Baekhyun wouldn’t be capable of abandoning him, not when he knew how much the giant needed him in his life in order to function properly. But then he felt an inexplicable ache in his heart, indicating that this was very real, that the words his tiny lover had spoken were true. The puppy really wanted to break up with him and the giant couldn’t believe this was happening.

“N-No … ” The latter whispered when he finally found his voice.

Baekhyun looked at him with sad eyes – he still had unshed tears and his cheeks were still soaked – but there was resolution behind them too. This was all, there was nothing else to do but to end their relationship because the blond-haired boy had trusted in his boyfriend and this one had disappointed him _so_ badly. For the puppy Chanyeol’s decision was quite clear, and he was already tired of being the second option all the time. Everyone had a limit, even Baekhyun.

“Chanyeol, you already made a decision apparently and I don’t fit in it anymore.” The blond-haired boy said gently, since as much as he wanted to be extremely angry with his boyfriend and hate him for all the suffering he had put him through so far, the pup simply couldn’t find in himself the will for that. By itself Baekhyun was already lenient and gentle, and to that we had to add the deep love he felt for the giant. The smaller was unable to have such negative feelings towards his – well, soon ex-lover.

“No!” Chanyeol repeated more firmly this time, refusing to accept the decision Baekhyun had made. “You're not going to break up with me. You are not going to leave me.” Stated shakily, on the verge of tears.

“Chanyeol … ” The other boy sighed, exhausted by the whole situation, because the taller wasn’t making things any easier. Not only he had to deal with the weight of his heart but also had to deal with the insistence and stubbornness of the giant. It was hard enough for the puppy to break with the man he loved already, so the giant didn’t have to add fuel to the fire.

“No, stop! I'm not going to break up with you! You're going to stay with me and we'll get through this, okay? I'm really sorry. I was a fool, a bastard, but don’t do this to me. I'll do what you want as long as you stay with me. Please, just …  _don’t go_. I swear that this is never going to happen ever again. I promise that from now on I will spend every moment of my life make it up to you for what I did. So give me another chance, love …  _please_.” Chanyeol said with desperation coming out from every syllable, word and promise.

And unable to bear the distance between them in more than one sense, the giant advanced towards his lover, taking a step at a time since he feared for the other’s reaction. As expected Baekhyun stepped back instantly, without wanting to be too close to the actuary, because he knew that any contact with him would make him lose all his determination. That was the effect the tall boy had on him, and couldn’t allow to lose himself in his eyes, in his smile or in his touch right now, not when he was so extraordinarily vulnerable, after all the pup just witnessed how the man who he had been dating for four years cheated on him with the former boyfriend that Chanyeol could never completely forget. It was something extremely painful, and he was trying really hard not to give in to his emotions and cry hysterically in a corner, and he feared that Chanyeol’s touch could ruin all his efforts to appear strong. Besides the view of the giant half-naked torso with hickeys on its entire surface only accentuated the fact that the taller never belonged to him in first place.

Nevertheless, despite the unsatisfied reaction of the puppy, the actuary continued to move decisively without enduring this situation any longer, but mostly he could not stand not being able to approach his lover and comfort him as he wanted to. Thus, as if it were a comedy, Baekhyun started running in circles around the couch to get away from Chanyeol, who in turn began to chase after the other insistently without giving up. It could have been a pretty comical scene. Well, that is if the blond-haired boy was not screaming in despair while crying pathetically in an attempt to escape from his boyfriend and their failed relationship.

“Baekhyun, dammit! Come here!” The giant yelled exasperated. He was very close to losing his special someone and that had him extremely anxious and fearful.

“Please leave me alone, Chanyeol! I don’t want you to touch me!” Baekhyun yelled back, dodging stupendously from the clutches of his boyfriend thanks to his agility and speed.

As soon the taller heard those words his heart started to hurt in an extraordinary way, but also something within him exploded, something illogical and irrational, because he knew he had _no_ right to feel outraged and angry at what his boyfriend had said. In fact he deserved it, but he could not bear the fact that Baekhyun was pushing him away.

“Am I so disgusting that you don’t even want to touch me now? Am I that disgusting to you now that I have the traces of my sin in my body? Answer me, Baek!” He shouted angrily as he kept going around and around trying to catch the other in vain, well aware that Kyungsoo had left hickeys all over his torso. Just by thinking about that he himself was disgusted with his own person.

Baekhyun suddenly stopped short, not believing what he had just heard. Chanyeol took the opportunity without hesitation and grabbed him by the shoulders, turning him over almost aggressively to face him and examine his expression once and for all. The giant expected to see vulnerability and suffering, but nothing prepared him for what he saw in the expression of his puppy. The latter was really outraged and angry, for the very first time in his life he wanted to hit something to vent his frustration, because this was very unfair, what Chanyeol had said was very unfair. His boyfriend had no right to get angry with him for wanting to escape from all this, from all this suffering … from the _betrayal_. And as if that weren't enough the taller was trying to make him feel guilty for wanting to get away from him, for not wanting to be touched by him, accusing him in the process of grossing out his body when all the pup wanted was just to get away from Chanyeol to not be hurt again, to not give in to his impulses and go running into the arms that just seconds ago had held another person who wasn’t Baekhyun. Everything was unfair and Baekhyun just wanted to end it all to finally rest his aching heart.

“How dare you say something like that, Chanyeol? How dare you to be mad at me when the victim of all this it’s me? How dare you to act like this when all this time all I did was try to make you happy without thinking about my own feelings? Everything I did I did it for you, for us and all that you have done is being stuck in the past that you shared with your ex-boyfriend. I never reproached you anything, Chanyeol, because I understood what you were going through … I understood your feelings and accept the love that you still had towards Kyungsoo, but you took advantage of my understanding … No, _worse_ … You took advantage of the trust I had in you. Maybe I'm the one to blame for everything, maybe I should have been a little more selfish and make you understand that I just want you to love me for me. I … I just wanted you to look _only_ at me.” He uttered the last words softly, in a bleak and uncertain tone of voice. “And I would never be disgusted by your body, Chanyeol, even if it were full of scars and burns.” Added in a whisper with his eyes fixed on Chanyeol’s marked torso, the same soft and toned torso he had kissed and caressed just this morning.

“Baekhyun … ” Chanyeol muttered clumsily, leaving aside immediately his frustration and anger, as he could not be upset when all the smaller had said was the truth, the harsh reality, and now that he was hearing it by the pup’s own mouth the giant realized how much he had failed as a boyfriend. The blond-haired boy was always the one who put everything in the relationship while he was only receiving. That was the truth and it hurt so damn much.

“Just … Just let’s break up. I cannot continue like this. If you really love Kyungsoo I can’t do anything about it anymore, sorry. I tried, Chanyeol. I really tried to make you forget him and that all of your thoughts of him could be replaced by me, but I failed and I don’t want to keep fighting. I'm tired of always being the one who gets hurt. I want to be happy and want _you_ to be happy too. So this is the best for both of us.”

Instantly the giant began to shake his head. He didn’t want this; he didn’t even have intentions to go back to his damn ex, that was out of the question, because he really wasn’t interested. The actuary wasn’t ready to let go of his precious boyfriend, never wanted to be prepared to do so, ‘cause he loved him more than he ever imagined. What happened with Kyungsoo was a stupidity, a slip, a damn _mistake_.

“Baekhyun, you don’t understand. I don’t want to be with Kyungsoo. I want to be with you.” Refuted frantically, tightening the grip he had on Baekhyun’s delicate shoulders with apprehension.

The giant wanted to make the smaller understand his true feelings, but didn’t know how to express himself, didn’t know how to convey his message in words. He had never been good with words and now he was losing his lover for it.

They were so busy with their argument that both had completely forgotten about Kyungsoo, who was still lying on the ground watching the whole scene with deep suspicion. He was not satisfied with this; this was not what he was expecting. He was not satisfied with Baekhyun’s reaction, not even with Chanyeol’s reaction. Well, he expected the puppy to react like that and say those words full of emotion and sense, after all Baekhyun was good with words and speeches. Yet what he wasn’t expecting was to see the pure and intense despair that Chanyeol was showing at this moment. Kyungsoo believed that his ex-boyfriend would finally realize that they belonged together after having reminded him how his lips felt against his own, but all he was seeing in the face of his beloved was deep repentance and a remarkable despair, and he fucking hated it. And it got worse when he heard the last thing Chanyeol had said.

“Chanyeol!” Kyungsoo yelled, standing with difficulty since it had actually been a sharp fall.

The boy couldn’t lose his beloved once again. So he quickly approached the actuary and took his arm abruptly, keeping him away from the puppy by force. “How can you say that, huh? Stop lying, Chanyeol! Don’t you realize the situation? You’re finally free. You can now choose me without worrying about Baekhyun.” The boy sounded pathetic, grasping at any chance for more ridiculously low it was. But he wasn't thinking at this point, he was just trying not to drown in the sad reality.

The giant looked down at his former best friend and saw how pathetic he looked while he begged him to go back to him with his eyes. Chanyeol could only frown disapprovingly, because suddenly Kyungsoo looked _unattractive_ in his eyes. Suddenly he could see everything clearly and when he looked at Kyungsoo wasn’t looking at the person with whom he wanted to be for the rest of his life, now all he felt when he looked at those big black eyes that he once loved with all his being was frustration and something akin to hatred. The smaller was the one to blame for everything; he was the culprit of Baekhyun’s pain and the cause of Chanyeol’s faults. Albeit it was a coward move of him to think in that so selfish way he couldn’t help but blame him from everything when his relationship was about to collapse.

“C-Chanyeol?” Kyungsoo whispered upon seeing the piercing cold glare that was headed in his direction. He had never seen such coldness stem from the giant, much less directed towards him since he was one of the people who Chanyeol most appreciated in the world. Well, that was _before_ , now he didn’t even know what he meant for the guy.

“I want you to leave and never come back, Kyungsoo. Get out of my life once and for all. Don’t ever show up in front of me again and don’t you dare to get close to Baekhyun. I swear if you hurt him I don’t know what will happen to you.” He pronounced each syllable with fury. He was trying really hard not to lose it just because Baekhyun was there witnessing all and the last thing he wanted to do after this mess was scare him off.

“B-But Chanyeol … ” He muttered dumbfounded, incredulous and he was starting to feel really betrayed for some reason.

“Just get out of my damn sight!” The giant growled tired of kyungsoo’s annoying insistence, and without wanting to deal with this annoying guy any longer, he grabbed his arm and dragged him towards the door. He didn’t mind his screams or resistance when he opened the door to push him out of his apartment. The smaller didn’t even have time to hit him for being so brusque and careless with him because Chanyeol had already closed the door on his face with unnecessary force. Yet, Kyungsoo immediately began knocking the door endlessly, crying to let be in again as he still had his upper body and refused to go out in such conditions, obviously. It was finally Baekhyun the first one to react upon hearing that argument whereas Chanyeol only glared at the door, as if his glare was able to cross the material and reach the object of his annoyance.

Baekhyun picked up from the ground the thin shirt and leather jacket that should belong to Kyungsoo, or at least that indicated the small size of the garments. And then – with an unreadable expression – he opened the door and handed the clothes gently to a surprised and ashamed Kyungsoo.

“Uh ... thanks.” Kyungsoo whispered cautiously, examining the face of the other boy carefully waiting for Baekhyun to explode at any time and to finally vent his anger with the person with whom his boyfriend had fooled around. Yet he should have known better, because all he got was a slight and sincere smile as a goodbye before the puppy gently closed the door. When the petite male was face to face with the closed door once again he forced a pathetic chuckle, because what did he expect of Baekhyun really? A slap? An insult? After all the blonde-haired boy wasn't that kind of person, he was gentle whereas Kyungsoo was just a homewrecker ...

“You shouldn't have kicked him out like that, or at least you should have given him time to get dressed.” Baekhyun said once they were completely alone. The smaller was looking at the taller with a look that couldn't be read, his face was blank and Chanyeol could not guess what he was thinking.

“I don’t give a fuck. I couldn't bear to look at him any longer knowing he is the responsible for everything that is happening. Thanks to him I'm about to lose you, Baekhyun.” He said more harshly than he had intended to.

“That's not true. Kyungsoo is not responsible for everything, because at the end you need two to tango, Chanyeol. Besides the one who was in a relationship here it was you, so you had the responsibility to say no. I didn’t expect anything from Kyungsoo because he’s nothing to me, but I counted on you, Chanyeol. I did trust you and I thought you loved me enough to respect me.” The blond-haired boy said with a soft but precise tone of voice, looking him straight in the eyes.

At that moment the giant felt ashamed because Baekhyun had a point indeed and he had to admit that everything his lover had said was nothing but the cruel truth. He could have stopped Kyungsoo, but he didn’t, quite the opposite in fact. He recognized it, he admitted it ... It was his fault, but what could he do to convince his boyfriend not to leave him? What did he have to do to make it all better? What did he have to do to put all of this behind? Chanyeol was completely lost; he didn’t even know what to say to win the forgiveness of his beloved. The taller couldn’t even look him straight in the eye without wanting to cry in a mixture of shame and despair.

The pup sighed deeply when he saw the expression of the giant. He could tell that the taller didn’t know what to do or what to say at this point, and he could also see agony and despair in those lonely watery eyes. However, there was no turning back, this was final, the pup no longer wanted to continue giving more turns in this matter. He was so done and wanted to move on. “Well, I think this is it. I’ll pick my things as soon as possible, definitely before the end of next week.” He announced softly.

“No, please.” The other whispered stupidly. It was really happening, everything was ending here and now. And Chanyeol still didn't know what the hell to do.

Baekhyun grinned at him gently when he saw the confusion on the other’s face. “It’s okay, Channie. Everything will be fine. You just need to find yourself, get to know yourself and then you will know what you really want. And you need to do it alone, I can no longer continue showing the way ... you have to do it all alone this time.” He said looking at him with those adorable droopy eyes of his that Chanyeol adored so much.

Only then, after a last look full of love, the puppy was gone, leaving him lost and with a heart full of guilt. His last words were spinning in his head, but Chanyeol didn’t know what he meant with them. Besides, the latter was too hurt by the loss of his love to think of anything else besides pain and regret.

*.*

Chanyeol was facing the ceiling with a blank stare, trying to kill time somehow. It was nine o'clock at night and he had just returned from work. On a normal day he would be keeping his boyfriend company as the latter made dinner, and both would be flirting as if there were no tomorrow as they waited for everything to cook. On a normal day he would be happy to return home after a long day of work only to see the radiant smile of his cute lover. On a normal day he would be wrapping his baby boy between his longs limbs while he buried his face in the blond-haired boy’s neck to smell his exquisite scent.

But that was exactly the problem, this wasn't a normal day. In fact the giant hadn’t had a normal day precisely since his Baekhyun broke up with him, and that was five days ago exactly; five days full of emptiness and devastating loneliness. The giant didn’t even remember how his life was before he met Baekhyun, because he would never have had a life if it hadn’t been for the smaller in first place. It had only been five days since the separation and he already felt lost without his precious puppy.

Chanyeol didn't know what to do or what to expect from all this. But regardless of the case he intended to win his ex-boyfriend back, knowing that he couldn't be without his true love, because yes, he loved him so _fucking_ much and his heart had chosen him before his mind could acknowledge it. So, he didn’t have any intentions to give up just yet, but life seemed not to want to make things easy for him, since when he finally mustered the courage to confront his insecurities and beg again for the pup’s forgiveness after the breakup he had encountered several obstacles. Baekhyun wasn’t answering his calls or messages and the actuary had no idea where the other might be. He went to the house of Baekhyun’s parents hoping his baby boy would be there waiting for him, but not even his parents seemed to know where their precious son was. In fact, he went so far as to contact his former boyfriend’s friends for more information, but no one knew the whereabouts of the blond-haired boy.

Chanyeol knew they were lying and that they just didn’t want to tell him the truth perhaps at Baekhyun’s request, he sensed it in every fiber of his being. After all it was impossible for the pup to disappear from the face of the earth without warning anyone, he wasn’t that kind of person, he would never worry people he loved in any way.

So, how to find someone who didn’t want to be found? That was what Chanyeol wondered all the damn time. He was desperate to fix what he had done wrong. Although he knew it wasn’t that simple anymore, he had really disappointed him this time, he saw it in his eyes, in his actions. He himself was disappointed with his own self for having been carried away so easily when at _that_ moment he was full aware of the promises he had made to Baekhyun.

If he could turn back time he would do everything differently. The giant wouldn’t limited himself to change only the moment of betrayal but also would hit his past self to make him come to his fucking senses and make him notice that the perfect person for him wasn’t Kyungsoo but Baekhyun, all this time had only been him actually. How could he had been so stupid and blind to realize that Baekhyun was so _much_ more than his special someone?

Now he realized many things actually, suddenly everything was much clearer, coming to the conclusion that during all this time Chanyeol had behaved like an immature teenager who didn’t know what he wanted. Always being the only one receiving without giving almost anything in return. Baekhyun was the one who always gave while the giant just received everything very comfortably, always inside his comfort zone. He hadn’t been a good boyfriend at all, on the contrary, he had been a troublesome burden all this time. Always leaning unnecessarily on Baekhyun, always depending on him like a damn child who needed protection. Always putting his own feelings above everything else, even above the feelings of his own boyfriend, showing again and again his undeniable selfishness. And yet, Baekhyun had never complained about him or his almost extreme egocentricity. His cute puppy had always been by his side no matter what, cherishing him and loving him with all his soul, offering more than he should have. Chanyeol's friends were right after all; he was very lucky to have found Baekhyun, a very lucky _bastard_.

That was something the actuary still wondered even after all these years though. How could he have been so damn lucky for having scored someone like Baekhyun? What was what his former boyfriend had seen in him? Chanyeol didn’t understand, and everything indicated that he would never get it. And he would never forget the circumstances that had led him to his baby boy either.

Their story began five years ago – both of them had been nineteen years old back then – when the giant had been really depressed about the loss of his first love. There had been a time where he hadn’t even left his room because of his state, which made his parents worry more and more for their only son. They had begun to do everything in their hands to try to help their son to overcome the deep sadness that the departure of his best friend had caused, but nothing had seemed to work and Mrs. Park was getting desperate because of her beloved son. The woman had felt helpless and useless, falling too into a state of depression upon seeing how Chanyeol sank into despair by each passing day. And that had been enough for Chanyeol to decide do something about it, or at least pretend to do so to avoid prejudicing more his sweet and kind mother. Thus the giant, since then, had begun to leave his room more often, had started eating once again – only in the presence of his parents and with a lot of effort – and even had convinced them that he had made new friends when in fact all he had done when he was “at a friend's house” was walking aimlessly through the busy streets of the city all alone. It had been one of those times when he had met Baekhyun for the very first time ever.

_The giant was resting – after a long walk – in one of the benches of a park he had never seen before; it was spacious, had games for young children and the atmosphere was pleasant and comfortable. It was a good place to silence at least for a moment the annoying voices in his head, but what really made it ideal for him was the presence of a certain stranger. A beautiful boy with caramel-colored hair who had the brightest smile the taller had ever seen throughout his existence. That boy glowed like the sun, his smile was simply too breathtaking, and the fact that his eyes formed in an adorable crescent shape every time he smiled softened Chanyeol’s stiff and frozen heart in a way he never thought possible. Maybe it was the way the boy could make shine the whole place with his undoubted cheerful smile, but there was something about him that attracted the attention of the giant. His innocent appearance combined with his tender features made him look like an adorable puppy and for some reason that invaded Chanyeol’s being with tranquility. The presence of this boy was just plain nice and very soothing._

_Since then the tall boy started going that park every day waiting to witness how the cheerful boy unfolded so freely, always with a small child as a company, who later Chanyeol would know him as his little nephew. Obviously not every day he had the pleasure of seeing the petite boy, but he did not care at all to waste time every day of the week because of the mere possibility of seeing him, not when his only moments of happiness were when he could hear that laugh full of joy and sincerity; a sound so soft and lovely that soothed his fears instantly._

_All he did in those moments was observe and enjoy the expressions of that beautiful stranger. The giant could spend hours just watching the boy with caramel hair entertaining the little boy with enthusiasm and genuineness. And after a while of practically becoming his stalker – okay, not really – he memorized Baekhyun’s routine, figuring out at what time and which days he could see his new source of happiness. Before the giant could notice it they started exchanging curious glances, then small and shy smiles, until finally they exchanged greetings comfortably with a friendly and carefree wave at a distance, but they never exchanged words. Chanyeol had never expected to reach the point of being acknowledged by the other, so he was very pleased with what he had with the lovely stranger whose name was still unknown to him._

_The tall boy was still struggling with his deep loneliness, but since then he had had little moments in which he felt at peace, and obviously all those moments included the boy with caramel hair, and the giant was satisfied with just that, not expecting anything more really. So he never expected that said boy could approach him one day to talk with him. And even until this day, the taller never really knew what had motivated Baekhyun to approach him so suddenly, because yes, it was the puppy who took the initiative to enter into Chanyeol’s life._

_From the first moment Baekhyun proved to be an extremely sweet and caring person, with a smile that could cheer you on immediately. He never looked down on Chanyeol for his depressive condition, on the contrary. Baekhyun gave him a hand and help him in everything he could. Always attentive to the needs of the giant and always willing to embrace Chanyeol between his warm arms when the latter felt alone and useless. And without explaining how or when the pup also started providing him of the most pure and innocent love. That love wasn’t unwelcome but left the giant puzzled at first, since who would want a broken person? Who would choose a person unable to pursue a decent life without his first love? It was pathetic, the tall guy felt pathetic and he believed that he didn’t deserve someone like Baekhyun; the latter was too good and pure for him. But love seemed to have no boundaries or limits, because in the end it was broken Chanyeol who Baekhyun wanted fervently and who was the giant to deny something to his newfound inspiration? If he could he would give him the whole world, but the puppy only wanted him, so he gave himself to him without a second thought._

_A year later the two were irrevocably in love with each other and ready to formalize their relationship._

“I miss you, baby boy,” Chanyeol whispered without taking his eyes away from the ceiling while a solitary tear made its way down his left cheek. He could not help but feel sad upon recalling the past and let alone when he had finally realized all his faults. Everything came mightily upon him very suddenly and his already stressed mind could not bear so much guilt accumulated.

Everything had started badly, from the very beginning he had ignored the feelings of his puppy and now all he could do was to drown himself in his deep sadness. But this wasn’t going to stay like this. Just for now he was going to cry like a baby. Just for now he was going to vent his regret in the way the giant estimated convenient, but when it comes the time to return to the real world he was going to fix all this mess. Just for now he wanted to suffer in the solitude of his apartment, the place where Baekhyun's ghost seemed to haunt him.

The last thing his eyes were able to see when they closed yielded to the fatigue were a pair of big brown eyes, which once were his favorite pair but had learned to despise and abhor.

*.*

Kyungsoo was in a state of shock, right in between denial and disbelief. In simple words his mind refused to accept reality. He didn’t want to accept that it was over and that Chanyeol weren’t interested in him anymore. All these years he was immersed in the hope to be reunited with his lost love, so his heart did not want to let the truth of their situation sink in. Because it really seemed impossible that his beloved were so deeply in love with a person who was not him.

The boy was being really stupid and stubborn, and a part of him knew that, but it was not enough to let go of his love without a well-deserved fight, which explained why he was standing in front of the door of Chanyeol and Baekhyun’s apartment. It was quite risky to do something like this, because the last words that the giant had said clearly told him that he wasn’t welcome anymore, but even so here he was, breaking rudely once again in the relationship of those two. He didn’t care anyway; after all he didn’t owe Baekhyun anything. The blond-haired boy was kind and certainly didn’t deserve something like this, but it wasn’t Kyungsoo business, the latter just wanted Chanyeol back at all costs.

He rang the bell without hesitation, fully prepared to face anything. His heart was pounding frantically against his chest of the anxiety he was feeling at that moment for the possible rejection he was about to receive. However, after long seconds without any response, Kyungsoo began to wonder if anyone was at home or not, because he didn’t even heard any movement coming from the inside, but instead of leaving the place as anyone would have done, the petite boy knocked three times in a row insisting vehemently, again without any result.

“Chanyeol?! Please let me in! I just want to talk, please!” The small guy yelled loud and clear, hoping that the desperation in his voice could speak by itself. But again there was no response, not a sound could be heard through the door.

After releasing a deep, resigned sigh – and by inertia – he put his right hand on the knob while supporting his forehead on the surface of the door, feeling sorry for himself for his bad luck. But before he could withdraw from the place – unconsciously – he turned the knob for no apparent reason, so he was pretty surprised when he realized that the knob turned without any problem, it was unlocked. With eyes wide open in anticipation and a small victorious smile, he pushed the door open slowly, leaving into view a completely darkened department.

At first Kyungsoo found himself without knowing what to do. The most sensible thing would be to close the door and respect the privacy of the residents, because right now they could be sleeping, who knew? That would explain the lack of movement. But the boy decided that he would take the risk and step into the apartment unannounced, after all he didn’t have much to lose anyways and he really wanted a second chance in order to _at least_ confess all he had saved in his heart.

He walked in very quietly, struggling to walk around the apartment without any source of light. As he walked blindly through the place he noticed the heavy atmosphere around him. There was a noticeable smell of confinement, as if no one had bothered to ventilate the place for _days_. He tried not to get distracted by the unpleasant smell though, reminding himself that that was the last of his concerns right now and continued with his way. When he delved deeper reaching a hallway he could see that a faint light was radiating from an open door at the end of the corridor. Without hesitation the smaller headed for the mysterious room, since during the only visit he made all he managed to see was the living room and the kitchen, Chanyeol never made him a mini tour of the house, so this was all new for him.

When he finally stepped into the only illuminated room his heart started beating a mile a minute, suddenly nervous upon seeing how his beloved ex-boyfriend appeared to be lost in thought while his gaze remained fixed on the ceiling. Chanyeol had his eyes open and even then he didn’t seem to notice the other person who was in the same room as him. The taller hadn’t even noticed the sound of his footsteps ... nothing, he was completely gone in his own world.

The petite boy froze in place, watching how the giant's chest moved to the rhythm of his light breathing, oblivious to everything else as if he were in an ancestral trance. He also observed the way Chanyeol’s eyes were closing ever so slowly, as if he were fighting against an extreme and profound fatigue. In that moment, in Kyungsoo’s eyes, Chanyeol looked pathetic, broken but definitely _beautiful._ The faint yellowish light coming from the lamp on the nightstand was enough to emphasize the beautiful features of the exhausted man and it made him look really lovely. The petite boy was simply mesmerized by the overwhelming presence of his beloved; his heart was filled with mixed feelings leaving a bittersweet taste in his mouth. And when he couldn't stand the distance between them, he approached the lifeless body lying on the bed carefully, trying not to make noise without wanting to startle the guy since he was still unaware of the other’s presence. He positioned on one side of the bed, towering over Chanyeol. For a few seconds they made eye contact, but almost immediately the tall boy succumbed to fatigue and finally closed his eyes.

Kyungsoo just stood there, staring Chanyeol’s tired face intensely, feeling like a true stalker. The smaller could not help it though, not when he had the privilege of seeing once again a sleeping giant, it might be the last time he could see him like this, so he had to take advantage of this bizarre situation. He could spend hours doing this, just admiring the person he loved in his most vulnerable state feeling like the luckiest person on planet earth solely because of breathing the same air as the other, as creepy as that may sound. So that was what he did, in the same position he dedicated himself to take care of the giant’s sleep with patience and love as he smiled slightly.

Everything had been in peace the first twenty minutes, then the atmosphere that surrounded the oneiric world of the taller became more gloomy and scary, making Chanyeol frown in his sleep, followed by small whimpers that conveyed fear and despair. At _that_ the petite boy could only lean in and caress the hair of his ex in an attempt to calm him down without waking him up, since he could tell that he needed a long and well-deserved rest for his large dark circles. Nevertheless, that didn't make any effect, the taller kept on complaining and even letting out small tears as he slept, looking totally vulnerable and _heartbroken_.

“ … B-Baek … h-hyun … ” The giant sobbed quietly with bitterness in his voice. “S-Stay … ”

Something in Kyungsoo cracked when he heard those sobs, not only because of Chanyeol’s broken voice but also by the fact that all this suffering were caused entirely by _Baekhyun_. That really made him reconsider things. Did Chanyeol really had completely forgotten about everything they once had? Did Chanyeol really had put aside the love they once had? Well, everything indicated that that was the case and it hurt more than the rejection of his parents towards his homosexuality, oh, so much more.

All those years in which he was away from his beloved were pure torture and the loneliness that ate him from the inside at being in a completely unknown country with no one to count on had been totally daunting. The only thing that had motivated him back then were the memories that he took with him from his beloved and clumsy best friend. All these years the only thing that could encourage him to go on was Chanyeol and _only_ Chanyeol, hoping that one day the two of them would finally reunite. And the truth was that he never expected the giant to date someone else. Kyungsoo was so confident that Chanyeol’s feelings would remain unwavering that he knew would be able to find a home in his ex-boyfriend once he could return to the country he loved. But that wasn't what happened obviously, someone else had taken his place, someone else had kissed the lips that he thought would be his forever, someone else cherished and adored the giant with sincerity, and someone else stole Chanyeol’s heart and Kyungsoo had no place in the taller’s life anymore. Everything had come to an end, everything had been ruined from the moment in which Kyungsoo had boarded that damn plane and now he accepted that there was no way to regain what they had lost. It was impossible now that his ex was irrevocably and madly in love with this gentle boy who Kyungsoo hadn't hesitated to hurt.

“I’m so sorry, Yeol … everything it’s my fault.” He whispered with tears in his eyes. He couldn't bear seeing him like that, much less knowing that everything was over in this way for his own stubbornness and obsession to fix something that was already _irretrievably_ broken.

It was unfair, because he wasn’t prepared to see Chanyeol in this way. It was unfair, because he hoped to see a more calm and resigned Chanyeol. He was not prepared to see the tall guy so destroyed and pathetic, mumbling in his sleep for his lost lover. But above all it was unfair because this scene made him understand that he didn't _want_ to stand between his former partner and the person that the latter seemed to love so desperately anymore. The smaller didn't want to separate them, not if Chanyeol looked so miserable for the apparent loss of his love.

The giant was still moving and crying in his sleep, so Kyungsoo knelt beside the bed to get more comfortable and started stroking the actuary’s scalp again, hoping to calm him down somehow. But the sobs and broken murmurs continued, so with a heavy heart the petite boy could only do one thing; wake him up. Carefully and with an almost ridiculous delicacy brought his face close to the taller’s ear and told him to wake up. And – in the process – without being able to resist by being so close to the object of all his affection, he started leaving butterfly kisses all over his face, gently, carefully, tenderly and Kyungsoo was enjoying every second of it. Obviously, in his state of resignation, he avoided to kiss those very tempting lips, finally accepting that it was not his territory any longer. Apparently the kisses were more effective than his voice, because after the fourth kiss Chanyeol began to open his eyes slowly.

The first thing Chanyeol did upon opening his eyes was to move them from side to side inspecting his surroundings like a cornered prey, and after a few seconds of disorientation his gaze fell on the figure that was towering over his face. At first he failed to recognize the person, making him felt insecure and scared of who the stranger may be and what he was doing inside his apartment, but almost immediately recognized the mysterious figure as Kyungsoo. He could recognize those distinctive big curious eyes anywhere … he hated it. Without understanding how the hell said guy had entered into his apartment the tall boy frowned in annoyance and anger, since certainly Kyungsoo was the last person to whom the giant wanted to see just after waking up from a bad dream. Now not only he had to deal with the aftermath of his very horrible nightmare – which turned to be reality, Baekhyun was really gone – but now upon awakening had to deal with the annoying face of his ex, the person who had to complicate everything by coming back.

“What the hell are you doing here, Kyungsoo? I told you I didn’t want to see you anymore.” He muttered without strength in his voice as he wiped his tears with the sleeves of his shirt, not bothering to change in a sitting position yet. “How the hell did you get in anyway?”

“Uh ... well, the door was unlocked, so I just got in. I need to talk to you, Chanyeol.” He replied sheepishly, feeling intimidated by the annoyance that his visit clearly caused on the other guy. It was understandable, but it hurt anyway.

Chanyeol slowly sat down on the bed, and then stretched his limbs ignoring the response and the presence of his ex for a moment. Then he dropped his arms to his sides and examined the room with a heavy heart. He hadn’t get used to this loneliness yet, still couldn’t get used to waking up in an apartment where it wasn’t his baby boy.

“I have nothing to talk to you, Kyungsoo. I don’t want you to be part of my life anymore ... you ruined everything.” He snapped monotonously, staring at him with frighteningly empty eyes.

The petite boy tried to hold back his tears as he stood there, looking at his ex-lover with hurt innocent eyes. It hurt to know what Chanyeol thought of him. He knew that the latter had every right to resent him with every fiber of his being, after all he had dared to push Baekhyun away from him, but could not help feeling hurt by his words.

“I know, Yeol and I'm so sorry.” He muttered with trembling lips. “But although I may not have the right for this I want you to listen carefully what I have to say and don’t interrupt me,” Without waiting for an answer he continue, “Today I came with the intention to get you back, to ask you once again to love me and only me. I came with the intention of asking for a second chance, because I love you and all I want in the world is able to call you mine again. Oh, Yeol, you don’t know how much I want to kiss you and promise you forever right now. You don’t know how much I love you, Yeol.” He paused to calm himself down a bit. His feelings were all over the place.

“But then when I watched you sleep and whisper his name I realized that I’m not who you really love anymore. I just became a burden in your relationship and now you're paying for my immaturity and my obsession. God, just minutes ago I was so determined to regain what we had ... but I cannot force you to accept me. Now I realize that you really love him and you really want to be with him. I should just go away and leave you two alone, but I want you to understand my pain, Chanyeol. Just put yourself in my shoes for a second and you'll know how hard it is for me to let you go when I love you with every fiber of my being. But I’m sorry, seriously. Please forgive me.” He said honestly, revealing his most vulnerable and weak side.

The giant looked at him closely, studying the sincere expression of the petite male. There it was Kyungsoo, the former lover who Chanyeol thought he could never forget, the ex-lover who had taken away his sleep for countless nights. There he was the guy who the taller though it had been the love of his life when his former self actually didn’t know what he was talking about. Chanyeol should have been more mature and wise to see reality. Kyungsoo wasn’t the love of his life; he was only his first love and that sometimes didn’t determine anything, especially in the giant’s case. Perhaps all he had suffered had been the work of fate; perhaps his first heartbreak occurred precisely to take him to Baekhyun’s arms, because he simply belonged to him. Baekhyun was perfect for him, he complemented him in ways that Kyungsoo never could and it was time to recognize it. Now when he looked at Kyungsoo he just watched his past, not his future. Although he couldn't help but feel some resentment towards him for having confused him so badly all this time, he wanted to close this chapter, and for that Chanyeol had to face Kyungsoo and tell him everything he always wanted to tell him. After all, the taller never had the opportunity to have a heart to heart talk since they met again and now he realized that that had been a _big_ mistake. This situation called for a mature talk about the feelings of both. The giant knew the thoughts of the other boy, but the latter had no idea of his own. Both needed a closure and this was the time to go for it. If Chanyeol wanted to move on and become the man his baby boy deserved he had to do this first.

Chanyeol could see clearly how affected Kyungsoo was with this situation, so he smiled slightly to relieve some of the other’s discomfort. If he wanted to talk about this sensitive issue they both had to be comfortable and willing to make this work.

Before speaking he took a deep breath full of emotional burden. “I think we have avoided this issue long enough, Kyungsoo. And it's time to tell you the whole truth, _my_ version of the story.” The giant started to say with a gentle but serious expression. The petite boy just nodded attentively, ready to listen to everything the other had to say. “Six years ago you left me without apparent remorse and your departure destroyed me in ways that _now_ I cannot understand. Back then I thought that a life without you wasn’t worth living. I ... I really wanted to give up, Kyungsoo ... I really loved you and I always thought of you as the love of my life ... I ... I was so lost.” He said bitterly, recalling those horrible moments. His look reflected perfectly the solitude and helplessness he had felt at the time and Kyungsoo wanted to kill himself for having put him in that situation. He never thought that his departure had been so traumatic for his ex-boyfriend; he believed that he had had a bad time himself but the truth was that Chanyeol suffered so much more than him, as the latter thought his lover had gone because of his own selfishness ignoring the fact that Kyungsoo had been forced to do it.

“I didn’t know what to do with my life, I just wanted to see you again. But then I met this beautiful and cheerful boy.” He continued with an endearing smile, remembering the first encounters with his puppy. “He brought me back to life, Kyungsoo. He made me understand many things and his beautiful personality just made me love him almost instantly. He gave me a lot, but I wasn’t fair to him. The whole time we were together something was holding me back … that something was _you_.” He looked at another guy with an unreadable expression, making him feel a little intimidated by the slightly accusatory tone Chanyeol had used when he uttered the last words. “Baekhyun knew that my heart was divided in two, _I_ told him, since there was never any secrets between us. I always tried to be honest with him, but that didn’t deny the fact that I was unconsciously using his kindness to try to live a life without you. I needed Baekhyun because without him I wouldn't have found motivation to continue my life in your absence. I always felt so loved by him, I was happy when I was at his side ... that’s why I needed him. Of course I felt guilty for using his love in that way when I couldn't reciprocate with the same intensity and fervor his feelings; after all I _thought_ I was still in love with you. But everything got even more complicated when you showed up.” He sighed wearily, remembering all the mistakes he had made, if only he had been more astute and mature none of this would have to be so complicated. “I was really happy to see you, but I tried to hide my true thoughts because I didn’t want to betray once again my boyfriend’s pure feelings, I owed him a lot and I didn't want to break his heart even if it meant to give up a possible chance with you. When we started hanging out together I realized how fun it was to be your best friend, we always had fun when we were small and I did not want to lose your friendship. And although I had feelings for you everything was rather platonic. Maybe all this time I thought I loved you because I did not want to accept the fact that not only I had lost my lover but also my _best friend_ , my first confidant and the person with whom I lived my first eighteen years of life. I was with you most of my life and it’s difficult to lose such an important person so suddenly. When you left I didn’t have the opportunity to tell you how much you meant to me, everything came out of nowhere and I wasn't prepared for it. So I just wanted to be your best friend and set aside the romantic feelings we had towards each other. I decided to ignore them because I was too scared to confront them. For a while it seemed to work, but then I cheated on Baekhyun in the most disgusting form that can be. I betrayed his trust, his feelings.” Chanyeol started massaging his temples at this point of his speech, unable to believe how stupid he had been all this time. “That should never have happened, Kyungsoo, because I'm not in love with you, it was all an illusion of my stubbornness, of my nostalgia for the past. I kissed you because I wanted to see if I really loved you and thanks to that I had my answer. And trust me, the only thing I could think about in that moment was in Baekhyun, of how disappointed and hurt he would be if he knew about that kiss. I could have stopped, but then lust washed over me. That was it. Do you understand my point now, Kyungsoo?”

Of course he understood, but he couldn’t ward off that feeling of loss. Their love could have been beautiful, but life had to intervene and eventually separate them. But the worst thing in Kyungsoo’s opinion was that this couldn’t have been avoided in any way. No one was to blame for the events that pushed him away from Chanyeol. As much as it hurt Kyungsoo didn’t want to feel sad anymore, after all Chanyeol had finally found the right person for him and that was reason for celebration, especially now that the same Chanyeol had entrusted him how much he had suffered for his best friend’s departure. Kyungsoo should be happy that his first love had found happiness again with another person – a better person for him maybe. The smaller could only wish him good luck and move on without his best friend, because there was no reason for him to stay with the giant at this point. It would be difficult for him to forget about Chanyeol when throughout his life the latter had been the only one for him, but the petite male knew that eventually his happily ever after would come. _Someday_ someone was going to love him in the same way Chanyeol loved Baekhyun and Kyungsoo was going to wait for that someone very patiently, there was no reason to rush into things, after all he had to solve his personal matters first to be able to love another person a second time, and that was fine by him.

“I understand, Yeol. I’m sorry that everything had to happen like this. I was so desperate to have you that I didn’t care to hurt your feelings and Baekhyun’s in the process. And I'm sorry.” He apologized sincerely. “Can you forgive me?” He added almost immediately.

Chanyeol just smiled genuinely – the first genuine smile since Baekhyun had left – as he nodded. Although he knew that Kyungsoo wasn’t the only one who hurt Baekhyun’s feelings, it was himself who did that actually. But an apology was always welcome.

“I just want you to know that you will always be a special person to me. You were my first and only friend, you were my lover and you took all my firsts and I'm glad I met you Do Kyungsoo. I hope you find your own happiness as soon as possible.” The giant said gently.

The petite boy smiled back. “Thanks, and I hope that you can win Baekhyun over. He really loves you, so much and he’s such a great person. Don’t break his heart again, okay?”

It was ironic and somewhat strange to hear that from the person who had wanted to separate them just minutes ago, but the taller knew Kyungsoo was being sincere with those words and good wishes.

“I will never take him for granted ever again. I will fight for his love and I'll never let him go. I will not make the same mistakes again. My baby deserves the best.” He grinned widely this time.

"Good." Kyungsoo said smiling sadly.

After that talk both of them felt much better, as if a weight had been lifted from their shoulders. In fact after having spoken frankly about their feelings everything had returned to its right place, everything had turned to be as it should have been for a long time ago and both felt really free from being pulled away from that invisible bond that had drawn them together to no avail for years, especially for the actuary, who had finally found a solution and a conclusion for _the_ melodrama of his life. Now the only thing he had to do was to gain back a certain person and everything would be just perfect.

*.*

Chanyeol thought he would be ready and fully prepared when Baekhyun finally decided to come and get his things as he had said at the moment of breaking up with him, but all his walls collapsed when he saw his ex-boyfriend walking through the door with two suitcases ready to be filled with his belongings. Just like that all the confidence he had been gathering since he had the conversation with Kyungsoo faded into the air as if by magic, replacing it with insecurity and fear.

The giant was in the living room lying on the couch as he listened to music on his phone; a playlist made especially for his mood in which two hundred songs of love and heartbreak were waiting to be heard. And just then the door opened unexpectedly.

The living room was the first thing you can see when someone enters the apartment, so the giant had a privileged view of when Baekhyun entered the apartment confidently dragging two large suitcases. As soon as Chanyeol saw him his body and mind froze, his heart started beating quickly and he did not know how the hell to react to this so sudden situation. The actuary knew that sooner or later the puppy would come for his things considering Baekhyun himself had told him that within this week he would do it, but the giant wasn't prepared mentally as he had thought. He was in shock and didn't know whether to go to meet him halfway to embrace him with fervor or to simply maintain his distance to not put the pup in an awkward position. Therefore the taller just sat on the couch, still with the earphones in his ears, without paying attention to the music that was still playing in the background.

Baekhyun only noticed the presence of his ex-boyfriend once he closed the door and dropped the bags on the floor carelessly, a little tired. He straightened up casually and the first thing he saw while doing so was the figure of his former lover on the couch, realizing immediately the precarious appearance of the latter. Chanyeol’s hair felt dirty and greasy, his eyes were swollen and red, he had dark circles and he even looked slightly thinner. Chanyeol had changed a lot in just seven days and the smaller couldn't help wondering why he looked so depressed and lost, Kyungsoo was not taking good care of Chanyeol? After all the giant tended to rely heavily on people, so someone had to be constantly taking care of him and reminding him how to take care of himself. Perhaps for some that would be annoying, but Baekhyun didn’t mind at all, he loved taking care of his loved ones anyway.

When the surprise of the moment passed Baekhyun smiled uneasily, wondering if he had been inopportune with the visit, since according to his plans the taller shouldn’t have been in the apartment at this time of the afternoon, he always went to the gym at this time of the day. Not that the smaller wanted to avoid _him_ per se – he wasn’t immature to reach such extremes – but he did want to avoid catching Chanyeol and Kyungsoo in one of _those_ moments because he knew that if he saw the lovebirds together all his strength would go away before he could recover. Yet, so far there was no sign of Kyungsoo, absolutely nothing that would indicate the presence of the said man.

“Hey, Chanyeol.” The blond-haired boy greeted his ex rather awkwardly while he scratched the back of his neck.

The giant didn’t say anything; he just stood there looking at his pup as if the latter had two heads instead of one, watching his face carefully with eyes wide open, very overwhelmed by the presence of his baby. As expected that only made Baekhyun even _more_ uncomfortable, so after clearing his throat to try to hide his obvious discomfort, he warned softly, “Eh ... I hope I'm not bothering you, but I came to get my things. I’ll try not to take a lot of time, I don’t want to intrude too much.”

Once again the giant didn’t know what to answer, so Baekhyun simply took his silence as approval and with his two suitcases in hand walked into the bedroom cautiously, as if he were preparing himself for a surprise attack by the supposed current boyfriend of his former lover. Yet, when he opened the closet he used to share with Chanyeol he realized that Kyungsoo still seemed to not have moved in yet, because all the clothes he had left was still there just as he had arranged them, nothing was missing. He wasn’t going to lie, it felt good to know that Chanyeol was taking his time, since even though one of the reasons for which the pup had broken up with him was for Chanyeol to be with his real love without acting as an obstacle between them, it relieved him to know that he was still taking his time to get over _their_ relationship. After all Baekhyun still couldn’t get used to a life without Chanyeol – and it was understandable considering that it had been only a week – so part of him was satisfied that the giant couldn’t managed to balance his life without Baekhyun for now. Although that didn’t mean anything, because sooner or later Chanyeol would create a life with Kyungsoo anyways.

But there was another reason why he had broken up with the giant though, and the most dominant part of his being – and the most selfish according to him – hoped that Chanyeol could grasp his intentions without having to explicitly tell him his thoughts. _This_ was the final test of their love story and of the giant will depend whether it will be a happy ending or not.

He started taking out his clothes of the wardrobe quickly, wanting to be true to his words and end this horrible ordeal as soon as possible. But before he could notice the other presence in the room he suddenly feel how someone slipped his arms around his waist stealthily from behind, startling him because of the unexpected display of affection of his ex-boyfriend, who squeezed his baby against his chest tightly, as if he were afraid to let go. Immediately after the initial shock, Baekhyun began to tense in the embrace, visibly uncomfortable. Yet Chanyeol didn’t seem to mind the pup’s tense posture, in fact not wanting lose more time, he pressed his nose on the pulse of his baby’s neck, nuzzling the tender skin as the taller sniffed shamelessly the scent that he had missed so much during those lonely nights.

“Chanyeol.” The smaller whispered as a warning. This was wrong, the smaller couldn’t afford to be doing these things in these circumstances ... they weren’t in a relationship anymore for the love of God and the giant was ignoring this _very_ important fact. Now he was kind of cheating on Kyungsoo too.

Instead of moving away from Baekhyun as the puppy wanted, the actuary started depositing soft kisses along his pup’s neck slowly, taking his delicious time to enjoy the sensation he felt every time his lips touched any part of the body of his love.

“I missed you, Baek.” He merely said, still with his lips pressed against the other’s neck. “I missed you so much. I was desperate, I didn’t know where to find you. You didn’t answer my calls or my messages. Nobody told me where you were. I didn’t know if you were okay or if you were eating or sleeping without me by your side.” Now the actuary started kissing his ear ever so sweetly, making the other boy shiver. The smaller was fighting against his impulses, since he was holding back the moans that were about to leave his small mouth. “Why did you do that, love? Why didn’t you want to contact me? Why didn’t you answer any of my pleas?” The giant muttered with his velvety voice.

Baekhyun was in a state between confusion and total euphoria. He felt like melting against everything that was Chanyeol and at the same time his mind was trying to understand desperately the latter’s intentions. Why was he saying all these things now? The smaller had given him the opportunity of his life, he gave him freedom to explore what his heart really longed for and here he was, whispering sweet nothings in Baekhyun’s ear so sweetly that he could feel the sincerity in each of his words. So again, why it seemed that Chanyeol would give up everything to get back to him when he could finally be with his supposed true love? The blond-haired boy didn’t want to believe this was happening, because a week _wasn’t_ enough to mend a broken heart, it wasn’t enough time to realize what Chanyeol wanted for his life. It was a difficult decision after all and the smaller didn’t believe in epiphanies. It wasn't time just yet.

“Chanyeol, we broke up recently and I wasn’t ready to face you yet obviously. My heart is still weak and I’m afraid to break in front of you, and the last thing I want is your pity. I’m sorry to have worried you though, that was wrong.” Baekhyun explained softly, stroking with his fingertips the arms that were engulfing possessively his waist.

The taller sighed deeply in regret when he heard the last part. Just by remembering the image of his baby boy crying when he discovered his infidelity made him want to kill himself. “I'm so sorry, my Baek. I cannot still believe how much I hurt you with my stupid actions, but can I be selfish one last time? Because I still want to get you back, love. I want you to take me back so badly.” He mumbled burying his face in the pup’s blonde hair, reveling in his scent.

“Sorry, Channie, but I don’t want to rush anything. I still don’t know whether to trust you again and to be honest I'm still not sure if you got over Kyungsoo or not. We need time, Chanyeol. I need it to heal and you need it to clear your head ... a week is not enough to forget what happened and I'm not even close to forget what you did. But we are all human and I accept the fact that everyone do stupid things sometimes. I just want to think and find _that_ something inside me that wants to move on ... only time and distance will tell if we are meant to be together or not. But whatever happens you will always be a special person to me, Channie.”

It was impressive how Baekhyun could express his harshest thoughts in a way that couldn’t cause a bad reaction in the receptor of his words. The blond-haired boy could mutter criticism without losing his friendly and sweet side, making it impossible for someone to take his comments badly. No one could get angry. No one could refute aggressively his observations, because his soft and relaxed voice made you trust in him, made you take into account his point of view. Not many people had that ability; Chanyeol certainly didn’t possess such delicacy. This was one of the many reasons why he loved his baby boy so much.

Every fiber of Chanyeol’s being was begging him to continue insisting. The smaller had a point and he was right, but that _time_ Baekhyun was talking about was _undefined_ and Chanyeol wasn’t sure if he could endure so long without his inspiration, without his precious puppy. In fact his eyes were already filled with tears at the mere possibility of never seeing him again, because what if his baby falls in love with someone else in the meantime? What if his ex-boyfriend later on realizes that Chanyeol wasn’t really worth it? There were many uncertainties hovering in the giant’s mind and he didn’t want to risk anything. Nevertheless, before he could express his fears, before he could continue begging, Baekhyun – in an agile and swift movement – turned around on the spot in-between the giant's arms and faced him bravely.

“But there is another reason why we need this break, Channie.” He informed him smiling apologetically, since he should have told him about the news much earlier, but because of his cowardice he delayed it every time he had the chance and when the cheating happened he forgot to tell him. “Remember when I warned you that I had to tell you something important, but that I wasn’t ready to confess it at that time?” The blond-haired boy didn’t wait for the other to answer, because the giant was busy wiping the tears that had managed to make their way down his cheeks. Besides the taller’s look told him that he did remember, so Baekhyun continued, “Well, I didn’t want to tell you not knowing how you would react. I didn’t know what it was going to mean for our relationship either. The thing is that my boss – the chef – had the idea of expanding the restaurant menu. He wants to experiment with new dishes, specifically international dishes. He has always been intrigued by Peruvian food, and since here in Korea there are not many restaurants of said food he wanted to send one of his employees to Peru so he or she can learn how to cook Peruvian dishes at its finest. In fact he wanted to go personally, but he cannot leave the restaurant adrift and it seems that he doesn’t trust anyone in order to take care of the restaurant for him during his absence, so he offered me to go in his place, being the most talented of his kitchen, aside from him clearly. At first I didn’t know if I had to refuse or not, because I didn’t want to leave you alone for so long and long-distance relationships usually don’t go very well. But then I started to think carefully about it and I realized that this was a unique opportunity. It's a great opportunity to improve and extend my culinary knowledge and I really wanted to go, so I agreed to it before I even had the chance to discuss the matter with you. I think it was insensitive of me to have accepted without consulting the offer with you, but I know how much you support me in my career and I assumed that everything would be fine, but in any case I was nervous to tell you. But now I don’t think it matters too much, right? I mean, I think that this job offer came at a good time, after all we need time. I'm hurt, and what a better way to clear my mind than devoting myself to do what I love?” He finished narrating timidly, a little fearful by the reaction of his former boyfriend still. Although it didn’t matter much anyways, the decision was already made.

“W-What … ?” The giant said clumsily, looking at Baekhyun with lost eyes. Now not only he had to deal with the breakup and his guilt but now had to deal with the physical distance that would separate them this time around. It was Peru for crying out loud! On the other side of the globe, in another bloody continent, thousands of kilometers away from Chanyeol. “W-When?” He asked shakily. He had just finished crying and now he felt how a new round of tears swirled in the corners of his eyes. He felt weak and very fragile.

The puppy pursed his lips upon seeing how much the news had affected his ex-boyfriend. The smaller didn’t want to see him sad and much less crying, but this was necessary. “In three more days and my stay in Peru will be seven months.” He replied condescendingly.

“Don’t go.” Chanyeol whispered while he sniffed pathetically, knowing there was nothing he could say to make him stay, much less now that the other wanted space desperately.

“Hey, everything will be fine, Channie. Don’t you have trust in _us_? Don’t you have trust in your feelings? Don’t you have trust in your determination?” Baekhyun lifted his hands and cupped the giant’s face with extreme tenderness.

The actuary leaned into the soft touch as he closed his eyes enjoying the warmth of his love, letting the tears flow once again without any resistance. He was tired and he just wanted to rest in the embrace of his beloved.

“Do you still love me?” The taller sobbed quietly without opening his eyes.

“Of course. I love you, Channie, so _so_ much.” He answered without missing a beat.

That was music to Chanyeol’s ears. “I love you, Baekhyun, more than I ever imagined possible. I'll wait for you. I’ll wait whatever it takes for you ... _always_.” He promised with passion.

The actuary opened his eyes just in time to witness the most beautiful sight; he saw those adorable crescent eyes and that unique and lovely square smile that he loved dearly, and right there he knew that he wanted to witness this lovely view for the rest of his life, this was _too_ precious to let it go. Chanyeol would wait for his baby and nothing was going to make him waver like the last time. Everything was going to get better, and his puppy’s words increased his hope. _Everything will be fine …_


	4. Epilogue

The cup of coffee was between his hands and the guy could only concentrate on it, in its warm temperature, in its beautiful brown color and in its distinctive scent. He couldn’t focus on anything else, not even in that distant voice that was calling for him ever so softly and patiently, since that sound was only part of the background. He felt somewhat disconnected from the world and from his life, which in a sense was understandable, as his mind was full of uncertainties, doubts and concerns, and although he had decided not to think too much about _that_ issue, he was unable to do so completely, after all he had been living in the darkness for fourteen long months. It had been more than a year and nothing was happening.

“Chanyeol, are you listening to me?” The girl seated in front of him asked for a second time.

Finally the actuary looked up to make contact with the girl, smiling slightly at the concern in her beautiful face. “I'm sorry, I wasn’t listening ... I'm … I’m very distracted.” He answered quietly, playing with the cup of coffee carefully.

“You're always distracted though. You're thinking about him again, aren’t you?” She smiled shyly.

Taeyeon was a colleague of his, a pretty vivacious, sweet and caring girl. It was easy to open up with her; it was easy to see her as an indispensable ally, especially when the actuary felt so empty and vulnerable. She had a bright personality and was always so sweet that Chanyeol couldn’t help but smile when he was with her. And as if that weren’t enough her appearance was simply from another world, her beauty was undoubted and could say with certainty that she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen in his life. Taeyeon had soft white skin, large, adorable eyes, thin, delicate nose, long blond hair and a small mouth with pink lips. In short a true beauty. Actually the beautiful girl reminded him of a certain person; they had the same kind nature and they both looked like fallen angels. Many times the giant had seen his ex-boyfriend reflected in this girl and that had caused him to have inappropriate thoughts of her at some point, since he had been trying to find the love that he had missed madly in this girl who somehow resembled his puppy, therefore whenever he had looked at Taeyeon he had searched for Baekhyun in her. He now knew that it wasn't healthy at all what he had been doing, as he had been transferring his dependence on Baekhyun towards another person just because of the resemblance between them. And at some point Chanyeol really had felt emotionally dependent on the girl who had become the replacement of his true love inside his distorted mind.

The first month after Baekhyun's departure to Peru had been relatively peaceful and easy. Chanyeol had every intention of living the experience to get to know himself for real, as Baekhyun had advised him, so for that short period of time the latter's absence hadn’t been _that_ palpable and noticeable. However, the tranquility and confidence he had been feeling till then gradually faded away and by the third month Chanyeol had felt _terribly_ lonely and lost, he had underestimated the situation and hadn’t realized how difficult it was to learn to be a better person without the support from the only person who made him feel alive. It had really been difficult to change and get to know himself when he felt so depressed because of his lover's absence, and the situation had worsened because Baekhyun hadn’t wanted to communicate with him in any way. The giant had sent messages to his cellphone, to his social networks and even had tried to communicate with the restaurant where the puppy was doing his practice, but everything had been in vain, Baekhyun hadn’t given any signs of life. Without a doubt that was what had triggered Chanyeol’s loneliness and vulnerability in the following months. Since then he had felt like a real anima wandering through a world he perceived as foreign. But just when he had been about to lose his way Taeyeon had given him a hand. This situation had given him a tremendous feeling of déjà vu, yet he hadn’t been able to fully assimilate it because at that time he had only wanted to escape from the heartbreaking solitude and to see the sun once more with the help of this warm and gentle girl. That had worked just for a little while though; only three weeks specifically and perhaps he would never have noticed the shamelessness of the situation if it hadn’t been for the comments of his friends, who had obviously noticed his slight obsession with the girl. They hadn’t been the ones who opened his eyes, but simply sowed a little doubt in the giant's mind, not obvious enough to give him the answer, but that was what had made him notice the mistake he was committing ... once again. He had finally realized that the story of his life had always been the same and that in the end he always seemed to need someone else to be his own person, and after that he finally had seen the part of himself that he had to change urgently. His problem was that he had been dependent on people who cared for him, had fed on the good intentions of a person and for obvious reasons he could no longer allow the story to remain the same. He couldn't make the same mistake again and again, he had to be his own support ... his own person; he had to find his own identity.

Since then he had tried to avoid the beautiful girl, which had been very difficult at first as expected and hadn't helped the fact that she kept on insisting on being a part of his life.  Apparently Taeyeon had grown very fond of the giant – a little too much it seemed –, so she had refused to be pushed out of his life at first, so Chanyeol had to explain the reason behind his sudden rejection towards her. After that Taeyeon had understood why he needed to do this, so she left him alone, although not before warning him that she didn’t intend to give up their friendship, at that time Chanyeol had only smiled at her with gratitude. It hadn't been serious, the way he had felt towards her. Even though he had had some platonic feelings towards her, it hadn’t been something concrete and real, it had only been a kind of temporary illusion, because his love was only reserved for a certain puppy.

And there he was now, fourteen months later and he was totally renewed, with a new mentality, grateful for the circumstances that brought him to this important point. Many might think that fourteen months was a very short time to change, but in fact Chanyeol had been undergoing this change since much earlier, all this discovery of his inner self began when Kyungsoo left his life, culminated when he hurt his Baekhyun and finished in the latter’s absence. Of course, he still had unresolved issues, like everyone else, but that negative part of him was finally gone and the giant longed to prove to his lover what he had accomplished with so much effort.

“Yes, I was thinking about him. It’s just that I haven’t heard of him yet.” He answered sadly with a faint smile.

“Don’t worry, Chanyeol. I'm sure he has a reason for everything. Maybe he wants you to have space for yourself to focus on only you.” The girl offered him an encouraging smile, using a warm and sweet tone of voice.

The giant let out a long sigh as he squeezed the coffee cup between his hands. “I trust him, but I'm worried. He should have come home seven months ago and I don’t know anything about how he’s doing. His parents won’t tell me anything other than telling me that he's okay and will come back soon, but that's what they’ve been telling me for months now. What he’s still doing there? Why doesn’t he answer my calls or messages?” He expressed himself in desperation; he was definitely dismayed by the apparent rejection of his ex-boyfriend.

Taeyeon extended her hand and placed it on top of the giant's. “Listen, I don’t know Baekhyun personally, but I know him through your memories and stories and I know that he loves you and that he is not capable of abandoning you like this. Honestly if it hadn’t been _him_ , I would tell you that you are clearly wasting your time waiting for a person who will not return. However we are talking about Baekhyun here, and he would never give you hope in vain. You have to trust that he will come back for you, it’s the least you owe him after everything that has happened.”

The actuary nodded, gently taking her friend's small hand between his bigger one. “Yes, you're right. I must not doubt him, I made him a promise and I will not forget about it just because of my weakness.”

She giggled beautifully. “That’s my boy.” She smiled brightly, unconsciously emitting good vibes in the direction of the vulnerable giant.

He smiled back at her timidly. “You know, I'm very grateful to you. You're ... you're a good friend, Tae.” He said shyly.

“I know. I'm amazing, right?” The girl joked easily with a playful smile.

"Yes, you are." The giant chuckled heartily.

Life for Chanyeol wasn’t especially exciting and completely happy, since he still missed his puppy so badly. The giant was happy with the achievements he had made, with the decisions he had made lately, but he still felt a small void in his life and knew that Baekhyun was the only one who could fill that gap. The giant wanted to trust him and be patient, but fourteen months had passed and he didn't know what to do with this uncertainty anymore. He was happy, but something was missing.

However, it turned out that he didn’t have to wait too long, because his special someone would come sooner than he had expected …

*.*

Chanyeol woke up in a good mood that morning, leaving him for the rest of the day with an enviably positive attitude. Everyone could feel the joy radiating from the giant; the innocent joy that shone in his eyes and the genuine enjoyment hidden behind his huge, almost creepy smile. He was in such good mood that even his best friends had to comment about it, naturally asking him why he was so happy.

"It's because of Taeyeon again?" Kris asked with an unamused face. The tall guy liked the girl, she was indeed an angel, but didn't like the idea of her near his best friend since he knew about the little confusion that arose between them months ago.

The giant just shook his head and showed them the screen of his cellphone so that Chen and Kris could finally understand what this was all about.

“No way!” Chen exclaimed with wide open eyes in surprise, being the first one to react to the sudden but very welcome news.

Chanyeol just smiled as he put his cellphone back in his pocket. The giant couldn't notice it for obvious reasons, but his friends could see the tenderness and longing residing in his now expressive eyes. The two boys could clearly see how sensitive and committed Chanyeol had become since a certain person's departure, after all they were there to witness the process of it. Chanyeol had changed in an extraordinary way, his essence remained the same, but in a more mature version. He had become more aware of his actions, more responsible, more courageous in facing his faults and was now much more independent than before. He had finally managed to stand on his own rather than rely on the goodwill of another person, they guessed that the situation with Taeyeon had been necessary for the learning of their friend, since finally the giant had become a person deserving of the love of his special someone, his _only_ special someone. And his friends gave good faith of that.

“That’s great, Yeol.” Kris commented smiling at his best friend gently, feeling happy to witness the innocence shine in the eyes of the giant after so long. He always knew that Baekhyun was the right lover for his tall friend. “Finally, after more than a year, huh.”

Baekhyun was finally ready to return to his homeland after fourteen long months. He was supposed to be in Peru for seven months only, but for reasons unknown to him the puppy decided to extend his stay indefinitely. At first Chanyeol had felt quite hopeless by the lack of news from his lover, thinking even the worst of the worst – which would be basically a definitive breakup – but his pessimistic state hadn’t lasted for a long time – part of that was thanks to Taeyeon –, since he couldn't afford to doubt himself or his pup under such circumstances, not when he had promised Baekhyun that he would wait for him for as long as he needed, he had said it very seriously and certainly had every intention of keeping the promise that had kept him sane all these months without his petite lover. That promise was the only thing that motivated him to give his best every single day; he had decided to be a better man for his baby boy and there wasn’t a day where Chanyeol didn’t try. Honestly speaking, the actuary didn’t notice very clearly the supposed changes he was experiencing, but he relied on the comments of his friends, who told him again and again that he was on the right track.

“I know, and it seems like a dream. I cannot believe that I will finally see his face again after so long. I really miss him.” Chanyeol answered with a gentle smile.

“I can’t believe it either.” Chen continued with a dreamy smile on his face, in fact you could almost see hearts coming out of the boy's eyes. “Finally I’m going to see that beautiful smile of his. I cannot wait. My angel will be back in just two more days.” He expressed himself with shameless enthusiasm, without hiding the great happiness of the arrival of his crush. It wasn’t a secret after all, everyone knew that he really liked the puppy boy, but how can they not notice when Chen didn't mind showing how enchanted he was by Baekhyun’s charms? Before Chanyeol used to get quite angry when his friend proclaimed his apparent admiration for his baby boy so openly, but eventually he learned to live with that as he finally realized that no matter how many times he told his best friend to stop, the latter wasn’t going to do it. Besides Chanyeol thought it wasn’t serious at all, he was sure that Chen was just playing around.

The giant only chuckled at his friend’s exaggerated reaction even though he himself wanted to run around the restaurant and shout to the world that his love was finally back. Yet, when he said goodbye to his friends and arrived to the solitude of his apartment all his joy was replaced by insecurities, which brought him down to the raw and uncertain reality. He had to remember that they never agreed on anything specific, in fact they even hadn’t kept in touch for these fourteen months, two weeks, and four days, moreover, this message was the only one he had received from his ex-boyfriend ever since he left. Therefore he didn’t even know what had happened to their relationship. Chanyeol liked to think that they were still together, that they still had an official title to their ambiguous relationship if that made any sense at all, but that obviously meant nothing, because the reality was that he didn’t know if his puppy was willing to take him back after all this time. Perhaps during the separation Baekhyun finally came to his senses and realized that Chanyeol was no big deal, perhaps he had met new people and had consequently met another person whom he wanted to give his heart to, maybe he had learned to resent the irresponsible actions of his ex-boyfriend at being in a quiet and neutral place, maybe he just didn’t want to be with Chanyeol anymore ... the list went on, the possibilities were endless.

Chanyeol was scared, feeling really insecure; he didn’t know how he was going to react at being face to face with his puppy. He was afraid of the possible changes Baekhyun might have experienced, would the latter be the same after so much time away from his home and culture? What if the giant couldn’t recognize him because of possible changes? That thought was terrifying, though a bit ridiculous. How could he not recognize the love of his life? It was simply impossible. Although that new thought didn’t reassure him in the slightest.

But despite all his insecurities and fears, two days later, he was determined to act maturely while waiting for the plane to land, trying to keep his emotions in control. The actuary was trying not to think negatively, he just wanted to follow the natural course of the situation, reminding himself that he was already quite lucky; Baekhyun had informed him of his arrival before anyone else and it was he who was here at the airport waiting for his pup, and for now he was content to only see his face after so many months of deep loneliness.

Chanyeol hadn’t had to wait too long for the time to come. He wasn't alone, obviously, there were many people waiting for their loved ones as well. Yet he was the most anxious and nervous of all, for he was the only one who couldn’t keep still; walking in circles with his head down to try to control his nerves, constantly biting his nails, coughing and sighing shamelessly and taking out his cellphone every minute to see the time. And when he realized that people were already walking out of the gates his heart began to throb wildly against his rib cage, it was impressive, it was as if he had run for miles without rest. His hands began to sweat as well, even beginning to tremble slightly from the deep and overwhelming anticipation he was feeling at the moment.

Out of the corner of his eye he could see how families and couples met once again emotionally, but he wasn’t paying much attention because he was too busy watching hypnotically as an angel walked slowly while looking for something or rather _someone_. Baekhyun looked somewhat disoriented, looking around like a child searching for his mother with his innocent, droopy eyes. But when his eyes finally fell on the person he was looking for the pup smiled brightly, feeling a wave of sincere happiness as he saw his giant from a distance. Chanyeol, on the other hand, seemed submerged in a trance, a dream in which only his lover and his beauty existed. His baby boy was practically the same; the only thing that had changed was the color of his hair, now sporting a deep black color which highlighted his beautiful milky skin. But everything else was the same, the same sweet, cute and innocent Baekhyun as before. Finally Chanyeol could sigh with relief, though that wasn’t all, was it? The carcass was the same, but what about the interior?

The taller couldn’t deepen those thoughts anyways, for Baekhyun was already in front of him, looking up at him with that tender smile of his, as if time hadn’t passed at all. But Chanyeol was unable to react or say anything, much less smile back as if nothing had happened between them, not when everything felt so _incredibly_ surreal. Baekhyun was there, in front of him, and he was looking at him like _that_ , and Chanyeol didn’t know what to do with the emotions running energetically through his whole body. All the loneliness, the longing, the sadness, the hope, the frustration, the guilt, everything came to his mind at once, so he couldn’t hold back his tears any longer.

The puppy immediately frowned in concern upon seeing how Chanyeol cried heartbreakingly. The smaller's heart began to ache, since he didn’t want to see his giant like that. He expected a meeting full of tender smiles, laughter and maybe some tears, but never expected this, because Chanyeol was crying so bitterly that his sobs began to attract the attention of the people around them. Immediately, after casually dropping his heavy suitcases to the ground, he stood on tiptoe and cupped the giant's face in his hands very gently.

“C-Channie, what’s wrong? What are you crying?” He asked shakily, holding back his own tears. It was hard for him to witness such a heartbreaking scene.

The giant instantly placed both of his hands on the puppy's, holding them in place. And still sobbing, he said, “I missed you, Baekhyun. Don't ever leave me. I ... I need you with me. I want to be with you always. I ... just ... for God's sake, I miss you, I'm still missing you.” He managed to say without hesitation.

“C-Chanyeol … ” The smaller whispered with surprise, not believing how much the separation had affected the taller. However, when he saw the actuary's eyes, so full of love and suffering, he smiled sweetly. And for the first time in fourteen months, he studied the face of his beloved cautiously, staring and examining every nook and cranny of Chanyeol’s face, searching, memorizing, recognizing. “Don’t cry, Channie. I'm here ... I'm here and I'm not going anywhere ... not without you.” He added sweetly when he realized that Chanyeol didn't intend to stop crying anytime soon.

Chanyeol released the smaller’s hands, making the latter's hands slide naturally until they reached the giant’s shoulders, and it was Chanyeol’s turn to cradle the other boy's face, caressing his cheeks with his two thumbs in the process. Baekhyun was still on tiptoe, so the giant didn’t have to lean too much – as he usually would – to place his forehead against the smaller’s. The actuary looked at his baby boy with an indescribable tenderness – still with watery eyes and cheeks soaked in dry tears – because he finally had his lover here between his arms. He could feel him, hear him, smell him and love him. He could kiss him, caress him, pamper him, because he was there, physically there and not in his dreams only. It was incredible, beautiful, almost sublime, because at that moment Chanyeol realized that he had almost lost this because of his selfishness and immaturity, he realized that Baekhyun was already part of himself. He also realized that he was always going to need Baekhyun, though this time it wasn’t for the wrong reason; Chanyeol needed him because he loved him, not the other way around. He realized that he was practically holding his whole world right now, accepting with open arms that this was going to be all he could want or need in the future. Baekhyun was his future, his present and his forever. Love, that was what he was feeling emanating from every fiber of his being, the purest and most sincere love for this puppy-like boy, and yet Chanyeol thought that this word couldn’t express how much Baekhyun meant to him. Love was such a small word to describe what he felt as he had never felt so complete, so fulfilled and well centered on the universe, so ecstatic and at peace, so completely happy and connected with the beauty of the world. Chanyeol was irrevocably in love with Baekhyun, to the point that he didn’t want to conceive a life in which his baby boy wasn’t present. The distance not only managed to intensify all these feelings, but only in the solitude of his apartment, without Baekhyun in sight, could realize that Kyungsoo never really had a place in his heart. Obviously he had loved the boy at some point, but if he had to compare, the feeling he had for Baekhyun was much stronger, more real, purer, more intense, and Kyungsoo had been just an _intermediate something._ Now he could finally love this amazing human being without being the only one in the receiving end, he loved himself enough to be his own person and love his pup with integrity at the same time.

Chanyeol released an emotional sigh to chuckle shakily seconds later. “This is what I've been waiting for since you left, Baek. Your skin, your smell, your eyes, your lips, your smile, your nose ... your everything ... you really drive me crazy, Baek.”

The smaller one smiled shyly as he blushed. “I'm home, Channie.” He simply said, giggling softly because Chanyeol had begun to kiss every inch of his face, showering him with love and affection without giving importance to the displeased looks they were receiving.

“Are you alright now?” Baekhyun inquired worriedly when finally Chanyeol pulled away from him.

“I’m okay, baby.” He answered with a gentle smile. His eyes were still slightly red from crying, but at least his cheeks were dry.

*.*

Baekhyun sat uncomfortably on the couch, feeling overwhelmed by Chanyeol’s intense stare, which was fixed on his face. The smaller had planned to unpack as soon as possible, since he didn’t want to leave everything for the next day. Nevertheless, the giant didn't seem to like that idea very much as he preferred to catch up with his pup, wanting to find out if Baekhyun had changed or not. Or maybe he just wanted to hear his soft and relaxing voice, delighting himself with the image of his baby boy sitting there, within his reach, as it always should have been. He was so focused on appreciating and memorizing every feature of the face of the smaller that didn’t realize how much he was bothering Baekhyun, who wasn’t used to this new Chanyeol. From the moment he saw Chanyeol at the airport he noticed the change in his lover, it wasn't exactly a physical change, it was all in the way his eyes spoke, everything was in the way he stared at him. The giant had never looked at him like this, as if he were the only person worth looking at, as if he were a stain of color in a monochromatic world, as if he were something _extremely_ precious and irreplaceable. There was so much love and adoration in the giant’s eyes that Baekhyun didn’t know how to normalize the frantic beat of his poor little heart because finally his efforts had paid off. Finally Chanyeol could give him all of him, without restrictions or limitations, just as Baekhyun had wanted from the beginning. And seeing the almost obsessive and deeply intense way in which Chanyeol was staring at him, he could tell that finally his lover had decided to accept Baekhyun in every aspect of his life, committing himself to act with maturity and loyalty, because after all the hardships they had to face Chanyeol knew what he truly wanted. Chanyeol had matured, Baekhyun noticed, his eyes reflected commitment and true love. Finally the puppy was loved with passion and sincerity. The distance had been a good idea, it seemed. Fortunately Baekhyun had made a wise decision

“Chanyeol, stop looking at me like that.” Baekhyun complained timidly. The smaller guy honestly loved the attention he was getting, but he still couldn’t get used to it, he had only arrived an hour ago for god’s sake. This was too much for his heart.

The soft and gentle voice of his baby was enough to get him out of his reverie, finally realizing how shy and embarrassed Baekhyun seemed. The puppy had his head down, as if he were trying to hide the flush of his cheeks, although it wasn’t enough to hide the shy smile that adorned his face. The taller only managed to chuckle at that adorable sight, and without realizing what he was doing, he brought his hand to Baekhyun's face placing it under his chin, to make him lift his head. The smaller didn’t resist, willing to make eye contact with the other boy, who immediately trapped him with the power of his intense gaze. The puppy stared back at him timidly, unable to see anything but Chanyeol.

“Baekhyun.” The giant mumbled softly, with a sweetness that neither of them knew he possessed. “Can we talk about us now?”

Chanyeol was no longer necessarily desperate to know if Baekhyun still loved him as before, if he wanted to be with him or not, or if he had met someone else in Peru. No, the giant no longer cared about such things, in fact, now his insecurities seemed rather stupid now that he could see Baekhyun’s face; the pup was the same. When he looked into his droopy eyes the tenderness and kindness continued to reside in his nucleus, and not only that, but could also see clearly the innocent and deep love he felt for him. Baekhyun looked at him in the same way he had always done, with love. Therefore, Chanyeol knew that the puppy had waited for the right moment in which the two could finally meet each other, he reserved his love only for the giant, keeping in mind all the time the promise he had made about a year ago ... that everything was going to be alright, that he only had to rely on the bond that held them together. Yet, that didn't mean that he liked the ambiguity that surrounded their relationship at the moment, quite the opposite actually. Chanyeol had waited a long time for the eventual reunion and now that he had the object of his all his disinterested affection in front of him all he wanted to do was reclaim him again as his own to make things right, and this time he had no intention of letting him go.

“What are you talking about? I thought it was obvious enough already.” Baekhyun tilted his head slightly, confused.

“What?” The actuary mumbled, frowning in confusion.

“Well, to be honest, my intention was never to leave you forever. I needed time for myself and you needed it to find out if I was what you wanted in your life or not, but I always intended to give you a second chance, Channie. My intention was never to give you up; I just wanted you to realize how much you hurt me for what you had done. I wanted you to reflect sincerely about it. But I always knew that I would come back to you, although I didn’t want to give in so easily either, not only did you hurt my feelings, but also my pride.” He explained embarrassingly as he avoided the giant's gaze, almost embarrassed to have confessed his true intentions.

“Hey, look at me, baby.” The giant said stroking his cheek with his thumb, but the puppy didn’t want to give in. “Come on, I haven’t seen those beautiful eyes for fourteen long months, and now you refuse showing them to me?” His voice was really patient and sweet. He had never felt so much love running through his whole body in this way before, it was as if this accumulated love needed to manifest itself somehow desperately.

Baekhyun smiled sheepishly, unable to not do it if his giant talked to him in that oh so sweet way. And giving in to the tender, but cheesy words, he finally made eye contact with the other boy.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed, Baek. Actually, I'm glad you did what you did, because the distance made me realize how much I love you, how much you mean to me. I realized that everything had happened because of me, that all this happened because of my bad decisions. All this time the problem had been me, not Kyungsoo. I also realized how unfair I had been with you all this time, my love. I always took your love for granted, always trusting that you would support me no matter what, feeling that somehow it was your duty to do it because that’s why I had chosen you. I did wrong, Baek. I was so selfish, from the beginning, all I did was hurt you, I had another person in my mind while I was with you and you never said anything about it. Baekhyun, I'm so sorry, for everything. The truth is that you are the best thing that has happened to me and I want to love you for the rest of my life, if you let me.”

“Chanyeol … ” The smaller held his breath in shock, totally moved by those words. In fact, he was struggling to hold back his tears, because finally, after so many years, he was listening to what he had always wanted to hear. The sincerity could be felt in every syllable, every tender look and this time Baekhyun knew that his heart was going to be very well taken care of. Everything was visible in Chanyeol’s eyes, and for the first time Baekhyun had confidence in this relationship, because the love that shone in his lover's beautiful almond eyes was _undeniable_ in every way, _concrete_ and there was no point in resisting it. They were irrevocably and crazily in love with each other and it was time to get their happy ending.

“My love ... My puppy ... My baby boy … ” The giant started saying with a sweet smile on his face, retracting his big, warm hands from the smaller’s face to hold instead the delicate hands of his lover, very gently and carefully. Baekhyun only smiled shyly upon hearing those sweet nicknames, which sounded like melted candy as they were uttered by the giant's deliciously deep voice. “Please marry me.” He finished quickly, without further ado. Just straight to the point.

Baekhyun opened his eyes wide open. He tried to look for something in his lover's expression indicating that it was only a game, because not even in his wildest dreams did he imagine that he would hear those words, after all they lived in an extremely conservative and closed society, so obviously homosexual marriage wasn’t even an imaginable option. It was good enough that he had been able to find his soulmate in this hostile environment, so didn’t dare to ask for more, he couldn’t allow himself to be that greedy when he already felt like the luckiest person in the world. Although of course, in the back of his mind, he had always dreamed of getting married in an attempt to officially formalize the relationship and be a couple before the law and before the eyes of the whole world. But again, that was asking too much according to the puppy and besides he never thought that Chanyeol had the guts to ask something like this really. Nevertheless, here was the giant asking for his hand in marriage with seriousness and illusion written all over his face, looking at him with extraordinary determination. Was this really happening? Could he really allow himself to be happy? Did he really deserve a happy ever after with the man he loved? Baekhyun didn’t know the answers to those questions, but he wanted to be selfish and take this opportunity more than anything.

“But it’s not legal in Korea.” The smaller found himself answering softly.

“It doesn’t matter, we will go to a place where our love is accepted and we will get married there. Anywhere you choose, just tell me where and we will, baby.” The giant hurried to say, caressing with his thumbs his lover’s hands.

“It would be very expensive to do something like that. The passages for the guests, the reservation of a hotel-”

“It doesn’t matter, believe in me and let me handle it. You just have to give me your answer, Baek.” He cut him off urgently.

Baekhyun saw the desperation and urgency in his gaze, and realized that this was really what Chanyeol wanted. So the only thing he could do was smile kindly and just nod. “Yes, I will marry you.”

And that was when Chanyeol lost it. Immediately he wrapped his fiance's waist tightly between his strong arms and turned him around in the air. The smaller simply giggled cheerfully as he held onto his neck, trying to cling tightly as to not fall as they spun around. Happiness emanated from both of them, because they finally had what they had ever wanted. They were determined to spend the rest of their lives together and this time nothing was going to come between them since they had shown that _nothing_ was stronger than their love.

“I arrived only an hour ago and you already proposed to me. You should have let me rest a little, love.” Baekhyun commented still giggling, in the giant arms, now clinging to the latter’s body not only with his arms, but also with his legs.

Chanyeol kissed his forehead softly, then his cute button nose and finally his pretty lips. “I couldn’t wait any longer. I had to claim you as mine as soon as possible, my beautiful baby.” He murmured nuzzling his nose with Baekhyun’s. “I promise to make you happy, my love.”

“I know.”

“I’ll never let you down again.”

“I know.”

“I love you so much, Baekhyun.”

“I know, Channie.”

The taller leaned his face closer to the smaller’s and with the tip of his nose began to caress Baekhyun's very soft cheek, until finally he placed a sweet kiss on it. “I'm really, really in love with you. I bet you have no idea how much.” He whispered with his lips pressed against his porcelain skin.

The puppy just laughed giddily. “You've gotten really romantic, Chanyeol.”

“Just tell me that you love me back, Baek.” Chanyeol pouted. “Say it back.” He demanded.

“I love you too. Happy?” He tilted his head cutely, and Chanyeol had to restrain himself not to coo upon seeing that _very_ lovely sight; that eye-smile was just too much.

“Very happy.” The taller smiled widely. "By the way, Baek. There is something I still don't understand, why didn't you contact me? Why did you take so long to come back? I was really depressed because of that, you know." 

"Well, don't be mad ... I just ... I wanted to make you suffer a little bit." He confessed ashamed, with puppy-sad eyes.

The giant frowned. "You are a mean pup." 

The other just giggled. "I'm sorry. How can I make it up to you?" He asked right away, feeling somewhat bad for doing something like this.

"Give me a kiss." He answered easily.

Baekhyun kissed his lips inmediately, it was just an innocent little kiss, but it was enough to make them see stars. "Am I forgiven now?"

"Totally forgiven, baby boy." He said smiling sweetly.

After that Baekhyun finally convinced his _fiancé_ to let him unpack. They talked, joked and laughed in the process, trying to make up for the time they had lost. And when they finished they simply cuddled in bed, talking about their lives, until eventually they fell asleep placidly next to each other. For the first time in a year the two slept peacefully without interruptions, which was understandable since they could _only_ sleep well when the two were in each other’s arms.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that was it. As I said before this was my first fanfic and I do believe it is kinda cringy, but I'm so grateful for the people who liked it and left me kudos! Thank you so much guys :D I'm glad you enjoyed it. 
> 
> Have a nice day guys! See you soon in another story (I'm going to participate in BAE 2019, so wish me luck :P)


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